smiles are contagious! :)

its been a while

2006-09-01T23:38:00.000+01:00

yup, so sorry guys, well all those that are still reading this.....hmm well i havent updated since like may!! o dear

if im being honest i havent really had anything interesting to say...or if i have i have forgotten to post on here!
since my last update....i hav had another really good summer. i got myself a job at the brache and so im working there full time and i also went away to tennirefe with my brother and parents.........the weather was great and the hotel was lovely!
heres one of my fave pics of the holiday of me and my brother

so yea, i am actually smiling in pain as my shoulder was sooo burnt that day, and the nice photographer decided to put the parrot (with VERY sharp claws!) on my sun burn!! arrgghhh!!!

hmmmm in other news i didnt do that great in my a-levels, but im in uni and really thats all that matters!
thats it for now...im so tired!!

this time it wont b months before my next post!!

x x x x

i miss it

2006-06-13T23:27:00.000+01:00

Over the past couple of weeks now that i came back from Romania, even though i only spent a few days out there, i miss it terribly. Now i have watched the video of our mission a few times in church and i really cant help feeling really emotional, and so after church sunday, after it was shown, i had to leave straight after coz i needed my own space to spare a few tears for the kids out there.
I also realised that from the kids out there, they really have so little and if they had a small percentage of what we have in the UK, it would really mean so much to them. It breaks my heart to see what the kids have been through and i would really love to heal and take away that pain in their hearts. People reading this will properly say go out there, and i would really love to but i hav a uni course in febuary, money costs and clashes with other personal occasions. I really feel that god gave me a reason to go out there and I really dont want to go back to the person I was and im terrified that its already happened.
I want to do so much more for them and even if it means organisin some fundraising events to try and raise some money for them. I also really want to organise a prayer evening where i can just get a group of people to pray for sarah and emma and the kids ect.
God has really put this on my heart and im dying to do so much more. I really do love those kids out there, even though i was only there less than a week. So ideas would be grateful, and prayers for the team out there would be great.
heres the website in case u forgot!

www.romanianrelief.org

sorry if this sounds like a moan but i needed to let it out oh and heres afave pic of mine with me and the christina, one of the babies i met out there...

god bless
x x x x

the team

2006-06-04T22:17:00.000+01:00

just thought id show a pic of the lovely group of people that came to romania!
thnx guys for being so supportive and encouraging!

x x x x x

romania 2006

2006-06-03T20:01:00.000+01:00

Im sorry i havent updated for a while but I havent stopped coz im so busy with exams and revision..ect!!
But the reason for this post was that as most of you know, i went to Romania for six nights last week and i got back late wednesday night. It was the most amazing experience and i am so glad that i went!! The main aim for this trip was to build a playground for the safe homes in tinca. And so when we all got there the ''play ground'' looked like this....

And so for the next five and a half days of working hard.....painting, screwing, building, flatting, digging, shoveling ect ect we ended up with something like this.....

ok so thats not the best pic but it looked something like that....plus with the swimming pool, that was around the back somewhere.
I have to admit i was nervous before i went out there but it was definately an amazing experience and i would recommend it to anyone that curious about going.
A couple of the girls that lived at the safe homes, before they came there they were tied up to the cots for seven years jsut becuase there was no staff there to look after them. Before they were tied up they we perfectly normal healthy girls, and now seeing them it brings a tear to my eye of what there like now. Like one of the girls just held on to my hand, and it was as if she felt safe and didnt want to let go of that safety. All the children there are beautiful and special, and its so sad to hear what they have all gone though. But to see their faces when they entered the playground, i cannot put into words. One of the girls, i didnt see smile all week, but playin on thw swings, her smile was lovely and it brought a tear to my eye to see how happy she was having a good time.
I also, on the sunday, went to visit the hospital with emma, vanessa, mike, maz and hannah. Again i was unsure of whether to go or not as i had no idea what kind of condition it would be in. All the kids want in that hospital is a cuddle and some love. Some if the conditons that the kids have there can be treated in the UK, but in Romania they cant and i saw one boy and his condition is so serious is that they just have to wait for him to die. Going back into that room and just holding his hand i tried so much to hold back the tears. I honestly wanted to make him better, but i couldnt. That was the saddest case i found while i was there.
LOL the food, now i was totally teased bout this while i was there. Yea i am a very fussy eater and i am sure that the whole of the church will find out! As andy said when he looked round the table, every person had finished, then there was me, with over half a plate left! man at least i didnt have the famous egg soup that tom told me about!
I also just want to say a big thank you to every who supported me emotionally and financially, it means a lot guys!
thats it im done
x x x x

im not gonna cry!!! : (

2006-05-23T16:01:00.000+01:00

im tryin very hard not too, i dont want to but i am sooooooooo sad!
technically i only have two more lessons left at sixth from **cries** its so sad coz i have made such good friends and ive had soo much fun. And some of you will properly think that if ive made such good friends u will be able to keep in contact! but we said that in high school and to be honest i didnt do a very good job at it! at also a lot of my friends are moving across the country to go to uni! ehhhhh, its so sad. But i suppose that life moves on and i have to, as sad as it is!
in other neeewwwsss im off to romania on thurday afternoon, ok im not gonna lie, i am pretty nervous and i tiny bit scared coz i hav no idea what to expect when i get there. What the children will b like, where we will be stayin! as you can properly tell by now, im not very good with change!! ive always been that and i suppose thats one of my negetive points!
please those that are reading i would be much grateful for your prayers and encouragement as i need it!!
right i need to get back to packin and collectin money....

vickis 30th

2006-05-16T21:05:00.000+01:00

sooo yea i went to vickis 30th party on the saturday! it was sooo much fun!
i think spending the four hours gettin ready was so cool!! yes four hours!! and it actually took me han and gill that time! but at the end of the day we all looked stunning! i took my friend matt, han took chris and gill took louise. The pics are soo good and we spent most of the time on the dancefloor!!
i know gill has put pics on her blog so im gona b a total copycat!!

ahhhhhhhhhhh good times!! i love these guys..so thanks for making the night special!!!

x x x x x x

I've had questions

2006-05-13T09:26:00.000+01:00

I've had questions, withour answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But theres one thing that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus, you are true

When hope is lost, I'll call you saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call you healer
When silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart

In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
My defender, forever more

I will praise you, I will praise you
When the tears fall, still I will sing to you
I will praise you, Jesus, praise you
Through the suffering, still I will sing.

Every word of that is true. God has always been there, through the good times and the bad times. Even when times are so tough, hes there...and sometimes I dont realise that.

x x x x x x x x

target reached!!!

2006-05-10T15:03:00.000+01:00

yes people, i have now reached my £350 target for romania!!! yaaay!! im so pleased, so now im going to do my best with raising a bit more as i have another couple of weeks before i go!
With what i said in my last post, i said that i had mixed feelings about goin but that was becuase i havent really done anything like this before and so i think it was jsut nerves. I still have it but i am really excited about going too! I really beleive that god put it on my heart to go and im so glad i listened to him!

oo and i have finally given in my horrible health and social care assignment. It was mainly about homeostasis and apart from a few people, most of you will proberly not know what it is!! but please dont ask me to explain coz even thought ive written it bout 100 times in my assignment it dont mean i fully understand it!! but it looks like that when i start my nursing training in feb it will come up again!! damn it!!!

in other news..the lovely lyns and toby have got engaged!! the sweetest and nicest couple! i am sooo happy for them, i wish them both many many years of happiness together!!

look at me..im so random!! vickis partaayy! on saturday! cant wait! its gonna be such a laugh!
ooo and its sarah janeys 18th birthday on sunday!! happy birthday hun!!! u deserve a wicked 18th birthday!!!!!
ok im out!!
x x x x

summer sun!!

2006-05-06T09:14:00.000+01:00

Its that time of year again when the evenings are lighter and the sun is coming out in the day! Its great and its my favourite time of the year! For the first time this year me and my friends from college sat outside on the field this week. And sitting outside i realised how much i am going to miss college and the people in it when i leave in about three weeks time.
If i am being honest, the whole thing with chris kinda put me off college and im not gona deny that there has been some awkward moments, but it shouldnt and i should enjoy the time left with my friends. The thing is, im never gonna have this time again as i will be off to uni to start my nursing course in febuary and mayb i wont see my friends as much as before and it makes me feel sad that time is going to quick and before i know it, it will be febuary! I feel that times zoomin past me and everything feels rushed!
These past couple of years at college have been the best ever and ive loved every minute of it! I have truely made some true friends there and i wish so much that we will be able to keep in contact. As when i left high school everyone sed how we were all going to keep in contact but really none of us seemed to do a very good job at it! I hope that doesnt happen this time round.
In other news.... i have raised £323 for my romainia trip at the end of the month! yaaay!! im so pleased but im gona keep goin to reach my aim. I have mixed feelings about the trip but i know god put it on my heart to go and i know i will enjoy it and get a lot out of it.
OOOOO and i so need to start my revision for my A level exams at the end of june. I have my psychology one on the 21st, and my two english ones on the 26th and 28th. I think i will be ok with my psychology one but english...hmm im really dreading them two!! but ooo well!!
I am sounding soooo random but i have loads of different stuff to say!!
Vickis party next sat! that is going to be so much fun! I think nearly everyone from church has been invited and its all going to be proper formal! i cant wait!
x x x x

hmmmm what to say?

2006-04-26T15:34:00.000+01:00

Well i cant think of a title and sorry i havent written in a while, but really i havent really had anything excting that i wanted to blog about!
Thanks for everyones support and comments about my last post. Im feeling a lot better with the whole situation. There still is a tiny bit of me that is still quite hurt but im a getting through it with the help of my wonderful friends around me. It was quite funny coz when i got to college on tuesday i came in with my friend nicole and she wanted to go into the refectory as we were early! But i wasnt keen as i knew chris would b in there and i havent actually seen him since we were last together so i felt a tiny bit uncomfortable! Nicole being nicole was like u cant hide from him tash! He should be the one avoiding you! Now were goin in and going to walk straight past! How could I refuse that?! So in we walked....then walked straight through, and he waved..i smiled and i carried on walking stright past! Well i felt a lot better after that so thanks nicole, do think i would have done it without her!
So moving on the last week of the holiday went quite quick but i had fun, i did something pretty much everyday and met up with a lot of people who i dont normally!
In cell last night i also admitted that i did drift from my relationship with god for a while, and that i didnt realise it at the time. But god has got me through so much stuff that i duno how i would have managed without him. I enjoyed infinity that night apart from me having a headache for the past few days! Dunno whats wrong with me....but ooo well!
Gill VDM has been txt me some really challenging txt messages last week and i will note a few down, coz they are worth a read.....
1 corinthians 2:9 God has such huge things in store and we dont even know it yet!
John 18:33-38 What jesus meant by the word truth

Enjoy the rest of the week!
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

moving on

2006-04-16T23:49:00.000+01:00

This weeks been tough but it has really shown me that i have the best friends ever and thats great. Chris broke up with me on friday and so i was really hurt and upset by the way that he did it. But the support i hav had has been amazing and im so touched.
Mum mentioned to me that she thought that i drifted and my relationship with god wasnt that good and in a way i think i did a bit. Mayb it was the fact that chris wasnt what u called a christian and that seemed to drag me down a bit. It was like what someone mentioned to me the other week, its easier for someone to pull you down then pulling you back up and i guess i was stuck in between that i was i was being pushed down.
But then there must b reason why i went out with him in the first place and i hope that i will be able to figure that out soon. But then there is a reason why we split and obviously it wasnt what god or chris wanted. I didnt really think that my relationship was that healthy but i loved being with him at the end of the day. It properly hurts a bit coz he was my first bf (embarrassin i know!) and i do like the fact of being with someone but as people have said god does have someone planned and im trusting him with that. (preferably a older christian boy!! hehe)
But going tonight to church was great because a lot of old faces turned up and it was lovely to see them all! And chloe and richard both got baptised 2night and it was soo nice to be a part of that and to share the day with them. They are both awesome individuals and it was so nice to see them so happy!!
But thanks anyway for everyone thats helped me this week! u know who you are!!!
x x x x x

advice

2006-04-11T10:14:00.000+01:00

This is going to be a very short post but something someone has told me made me feel hurt let down and upset. I forgive this person becuase I love them but i just feel at a total low. This weeke hasnt really been the best and its not just the one thing but several rolled into one.
What saddens me the most is that in a way im embarrassed to tell anyone and i pray god will help me tell people i can trust because I cannot bottle it up.
Gill if your reading this i am so sorry and i love you to bits, you fancy meeting up tonight, even if its jsut round at one of our house. I miss you and i could really do with a hug!
I love han and gill and i think recently I havent been the bets friend in the world to them and i am so sorry.
Im off to meet gill vdm now.
Told you it would be a short post.
x x x

lonely

2006-04-09T22:51:00.000+01:00

Hey,

sorry i havent posted in a while but I havent stopped! Had a pretty average week and weekend but ive shared it with great people.
I went to both the services today and im really glad i went to the morning but im not so sure about the evening. Normally i prefer the evening servies and i know the idea about going to church is spending time with god and i did. But for the first time in like two years i felt so low and lonely tonight and sitting in my car before the service i really didnt want to go in. I jsut felt that I can spent time with god at home and i didnt have the same feelings and exciteness about going in and seeing everyone. I dont know if ive brought this on myself but crying on mums shoulders tonight i felt hurt upset and lonely. I have got pretty close to my college friends but as none of them are christians its harder to talk to them.
I think i just need time to pray and spend time with god as im feeling pretty crappy. I'm meeting karen tues and laura on thurs and im sure that will help. I'm also off to a mates 18th thurs so yea, i know drinkings not the answer but it beats stayin in and feeling sorry for myself!
sorry for being so negative but i needed to let this out!
x x x x x

do something amazing today....

2006-04-04T20:29:00.000+01:00

hey!

and thats just what i did. Today i did do something pretty amazing...i gave blood. I have been wanting to do it for a long while now and i finally had the courage and support to do it.
We started off by having nandos (yummy!) then off we strolled to the blood centre. My friend sarah decided that she was a bit sqeamish so they went shoppin for a bit and promised that they would come back (dont worry they did - when i had finished!!) they asked me questions, took a small sample and off we went to do the good deed of the day. To be honest I was nervous, and i did make it pretty obvious to the nurses and my friend but it was over within 20 minutes. I was then asked to stay at the centre for another 15 minutes jsut to make sure I was ok and then off i went - to costa coffee with my supporters!!
So yea i had a pretty amazing day. I have possibly helped or even saved someones life and i am so proud 2 say that. Thats why I am urging you lot to do the same (when your 17 and a half!) Trust me the feelin you hav helped someone is amazing!

Another reason why I wanted to post was that I am so worried about a friend of mine. The friend that came and sat with me nearly broke down while I was havin my blood taken. I think I have mentioned her mum passed away last year. But at home, her and her stepdad are not gettin on at all and she says its just arguements all the time. I wanted to give her a hug but obviously i couldnt move! I really wanna pray for her coz its so tough on her at the moment but i appriciated her so much today, as she sat with me, and i didnt feel as scared! so thanks hun.

love u all,
god bless

x x x x x

friends

2006-04-01T20:31:00.000+01:00

When your having a bad day, your friends are there are the type of people that will never leave you. I guess I'm writing this coz its getting closer for me 2 leave 6th form and i really dont want to!! I love it there and i have made the best friends ever! We have shared 18th birthdays (or are going to!) paddys night, girly nights in and of course nandos! These past few months have been great at sixth form and ive loved every minute of it. If i am being honest the 2nd year is better as you get to build the friendships you hav formed in the first year. Like today my friend laura was great and she really made me smile (p.s-well done for gettin into luton uni) She came round yesterday and we sat and watched Bridget Jones and we talked about everythin. I can honestly say that every friend that I have made at 6th form have helped me in some sort of way. From exams to boys and that what i love so much about them! It's going to be so tough leavin and no doubt there will be tears. I wont be around for the last couple of days coz I will be in romainia but I am going to have a couple of 6th form leaving parties in the summer for my fellow 6th formers, coz they all deserve it.

Today I have had a lot of time to reflect and i spent a lot of time praying. I especially prayed for the relationship with my dad and brother. Its pretty tence between them now and my dad feels down with the way nicks behaving in school.

I'm still with my wonderful boyfriend chris. I know this is going to be so soppy but everyday day i spend with him it gets better and better and i love him loads. He always makes me smile can talk to about anythin.

Sorry Im really going on now! This post has been so random but my feelings are going every where but since im in the mood im going to put some pics of my college friends that i love! hehe

x x x x x x x x x x x

a prayer for mothers day..

2006-03-26T12:28:00.000+01:00

So today is the day, the world celebrates that special woman in their life, and tell them how much they mean to them. However Mothers day can be just as sad, as happy, people that have lost their mums in the past year, or mums that have lost their children. So here i am, am going to write a prayer for mothers day...

Dear Lord

I wanna thank you for the mums across the world, each of them special in their own way. I pray lord that not just on days like this, but on others days throughout the year that people will just show and tell their mums how much they really mean to them.

I want to thank you lord for my mum and the special person she is, for always being there and always there if i ever need to talk. I wanna thank you so much for the good news we had the other week from the scan, and to know lord that you do answer our prayers and you never leave us and that your just an amazing god.

I want to pray for the people in the world that have lost thier mums, especially in the past year. I pray that you strengthen them and protect them and just shower them with your love and for them to know your there. I pray that especially on mothers day its hard for them lord and I jsut really pray that you protect them and take away the pain and upset in their heart. I pray for nic and gem, that as Im friends with them, that they will spend today with happy memories of their mum and there will be no feelings of hurt, but happiness to remember the good times spent with their mum. I want to thank you for the amazing and strong young women they are and that they will be able to support eachother today and always.

I also want to pray for the women that have lost children, especially in the past year. I pray that you comfort them lord, as today can be just as hard. I pray you heal thier hearts and show them your love and to know that your a lord that heals, protects and loves. I really pray they know that lord.

Thank you for being such an amazing lord and for never leaving us. Like in the song, all through the storm, your love is the anchor and our hope is in you alone. And that is so true lord. Your such a faithful lord and you never change and I love you so much for that. You always forgive, and you died on the cross for all our sins. Lord I want to say sorry for all the wrong things ive done this week and I pray that you will continue to guide me in my faith with you.

In your precious name
Amen

x x x x x x x x x

made my day!!!

2006-03-23T21:25:00.000Z

Sorry I havent written for a while but I have a great reason to post tonight! My elsest cousin is expecting her first child!! Just found out tonight, and shes four months gone!! has completely made my day! im sooooo excited! WOW! cannot stop smiling!
Anyway....moving on what have I done this week...I went to the cinema with gill to see Last Holiday and to put it quick, its about living your life to the full and enjoyin each day as if its your last, made me think as sometimes i dont live my life as I would want to or honouring god. But on the way home my car indicators decided not to work and so my car was out of order for a whole week!! grrrr, just got used 2 driving and it was taken away from me!! lol but yea i got a lot of exercise from it!
The following day I spent the whole day with my wonderful bf!
Oh and on St paddy's day I went out with the girlies from 6th form! overall had a good night out, and since I am a lil bit irish I was allowed to have a great time! sorry laura for spilling drink everywhere! i can admit it now!
Also went out for my friend laurens 18th, we went to the whitehouse then followed by chicagos. I love it in there, the atmosphere, the music, the people! And me and lisa are not ashamed to admit they played girls aloud n britney, and we loved it!! Spend most of the night on the dancefloor, but had such a great night out, love you guys, and happy 18th lauren!!!
thats it!! im too excited to write anymore!!
love ya all!!
x xx x x

weekend away..

2006-03-14T13:33:00.000Z

So this weekend infinity and encounter went away to buckden towers which is near cambridgeshire.
We left the church at around seven thirty and had sarah, hannah,hannah p and claire in the car! was fun and dont think we got lost so its all good! So anyway got to the towers unpacked and matt talked to us, which involved a funny penguin story! (i'l explain when i get asked!) We had a game of hockey after, and our team won! obvioulsy coz i was on it! I was so tired that night but some of the girls in the room decided to keep us up till the early hours of the morning! thnx girls!
On the saturday, first thing lynsey did a talk on fellowship then following that we took part in a mini movie! With the encounter lot in the group too we did a movie which involved zombies! yea was not my idea! although i think me and the other girls did a good job of acting as zombies! lol. After lunch we went bowling and yea got to admit im not a very good bowler coz i lost horribly, no suprises there! moving on.....watched remember the titans in the evening and it was actually a really good film and im really glad i watched it! it had its sad bits but overall it was a great movie.
Im not going into to much detail but praying sunday morning really helped and im glad i prayed with the people i did! Me gill and han prayed for our friendship as its hard us three being so close but there are times when one person does feel left out. but yea its so much better when people are honest instead of keeping it bottled up deep down. I love you two so much!
We were also told that when we get back to luton, not to forget what happened over the weekend and to tell our friends exactly what we did, and who we did it with. I have..and i dont regret it, some of my friends are more interested than others but at least they know and i can answer any questions they may ask.
A big thanks to all the leaders that came and helped: andy, toby, jase, gill, han, matt, sarah, lyns, howard and luke! you guys did a great job! Also a big well done to jamie who lead the worship a few times! Jamie, you are so gifted and its great that your sharing your gifts with us this weekend!
x x x x x

shocked!

2006-03-10T16:57:00.000Z

got our january exam results today and im really shocked to say i got a B in my horrible psychology exam!! i really cant belive it this is the highest grade ive ever got in 6th form and i got it in psychology!! wooowww! so happy and also i got a C in my health and social care so i dont have to resit! i feel that im on cloud 9! woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
but yea im off to the weekend away tonight and im just looking forward 2 gettin away!
thats it im off!
god bless
x x x x x x x

not the best of weeks

2006-03-08T16:58:00.000Z

Well to be honest this week hasnt really been the best of weeks so far. I found out today that I didnt get into Hertfordshire university. Well i got a letter through from nmas saying that my application has been unsuccessful so in other terms i havent got in. The thing is when people get rejected from a university they get the rejection letter from the actual university, not from what you applied through. I feel pretty gutted and upset becuase I would have preferred to have gone there. I still have yet to hear from Luton, and they are still deciding who they want on the course. It really makes me question the fact that where does god want me next year, it scares me to think that I may not get into any university and then where does that lead me? I feel scared, upset and down, all rolled into one and its not a great feeling.
Also I'm not going to go into much detail but I was (maybe i still am) close to being sacked from my weekend job. I know what I did was wrong but I never meant for it to come to this. With this situation I felt really upset and crappy if thats acually a word! But i went out with chris, sinead and matt last night and that really took my mind off it! Thanks chris for sayin the right words, and for takin my mind off it. Luv uuuuu!
I also have my january exam results tomorrow afternoon and im sooooooooooo not looking forward to that. I really worked hard in these exams and i want so bad to do well in them, if I dont, yea dont really want to get into that!
Lol, well at infinity on monday I was told that sometimes i mainly talk on the negetive side a bit, and i really dont mind hearing that, because I do. I always tend to start the conversation in cell by being negetive, not positive! I think one of the main problems with that is my confidence, i dont have a lot of confidence in myself and the things that I do. In my mentoring session with gill I did some activites about the things in my life that I find it hard to manage with and confidence came to the top of the list. Gill mention that our confidence is from god and i need to make time and talk to him and pray about it.
Anyway, being more positive it the infinity/encounter weekend away this week and i am really looking forward to it! Spending time with god and people around me. Going to be fun, along with a midnight walk and making a video! ooooo sounds like fun!!!
god bless
x xxxxxxxxxxx

what a weekend..!!!

2006-03-05T13:47:00.000Z

well, what can i say, this weekend has gone so quick but ive had fun!
friday night, i went round my boyfriends house and chilled out, but saturday i had to work alllll day!! 9-6, how long is that!! but the best part of the weekend was a joint 18th birthday i went to at the cork and bull last night. It was my boyfriends (chris) and his mate leigh! we had such a laugh and there was loads of ashcroft people there, so it was like an ashcroft reunion!!
have to admit spent most of the time on the dancefloor with my dancing buddies matt, micky, sarah, anna and martin! anyway moving on, we stayed there till about oneish then caroline decided to walk home! my feet were actaully killin me but i was outvoted so off we went, walking up crawley green and past ashcroft! and bless matt, my feet were hurtin that bad that he let me wear his trainors, and he walked with no shoes on! hehe! thnx matt!
well cutting a long stroy short i got in about 3 and somehow i woke up at 9! so that was six hours sleep! but i had such a great time, and heres a couple of pics of the night

heres : anna,lauren,me,mickey,sean,kerry and rob!

oh and heres anna,me,mickey, sean (half asleep!) and rob! i think that was towards the end of the night!

but what i found out this morning as really annoyed and upset me. In my last post i put on how some things in Luton do scare me and what happened to me and chris. Well my brother got mugged and they took his phone. Now this really annoys me to think what people do to hav fun is to scare and take peoples phones! This is a very testing time and i really need to pray for these types of people, as its so scary to think you just have to walk round the corner and you can get easily mugged.
But other than that ive had a really good weekend!
god bless
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

luton can be a scary place

2006-02-27T22:19:00.000Z

Up to this point, ive never really had the experience to say that luton scares me, that is until tonight.
I went out with someone tonight and we were followed and approached by four youths askin for money and phones. It was ok, as we walked off unharmed, but on our way back home we were then approached again by the same four youths, and the stuff that they were sayin im not going to repeat on here. The thing that really saddens me is that, going round hassling people is their way of having fun and that is just sad. It also saddens me to think that getting high is a way to have fun, and i do not agree.
My brother has been mugged just around the corner,and also a friend of mines brother also got mugged for just £2. Now that really, until now, truely scares me. I mean what happened to me tonight gives me a bigger encouragement to pray for this town and the youths around it. I feel god has really put Luton on my heart, and I know that what happened tonight, god didnt want it to happen, but hes shown me what i really need to pray for.
Well i was going to post about something else but i really had to get that off my chest!
Lent starts on wednesday and i have decided to give up CHOCOLATE! i know, come people may think that im mad, and yes i think i am but im def going to do it! Its going to be hard but i do know a good few people that are also giving up chocolate so we can do it together!! one of my friends is giving up alcohol, another one is giving up the whole, crisps, chocolate and biscuits!! now she is brave!! dont think i could do that!!
well what an eventful evening!! im out.....!
god bless
xxxxx

time for god

2006-02-20T22:35:00.000Z

so yea went to infinity tonight and one of the main things we talked about was making more time for god. I think to be honest i dont spend as much time talking to god and spending time with him as much as i should. It really saddens me as when we went round in a circle about how much time we spend praying and reading the bible. Especially the past two weeks I have spent hardly any time with him at all, i dont read the bible as much and im certainly not praying as much as I should.

The end of cell was good becuase we got to spend 8 minutes in total silence to pray and listen to god. During these five minutes my mind was just overwelmed with so many things I need to pray about and things that are really on my heart at the minute. There are a number of main points, one of them im not going to mention but the other is my friend and her sister who lost their mum last year. The thing that makes me sad is that i prayed for them while their mum didnt have much time left, after she passed away, and maybe a month or so after. Then suddenley I just stopped, and that really saddens my heart. Why did i stop? maybe just forgettin, not having the time, or other things I need to pray about. But during those eight minutes I felt god really put them both on my heart. I need to start praying for them again, coz i can tell that they still have that sadness in their heart about their mum. I hope god blesses me to give me the time to pray for them.

Overall infinity was fun, yea the numbers gone down but its nice coz the people that do go, really want to be there and thats all good!

god bless
xxxxxxxxxxxx

valentines day 2006.....

2006-02-14T21:13:00.000Z

heya...............
well its that time of the year again, valentines day! well i had overall, a really good day becuase i went to london! saw the london eye, buckingham palace, big ben and the parliment! also along with gettin confused on the underground and ending up havin lunch in mcdonalds coz everywhere else was sooo expensive! but yea it was a fun day, and i shared it with someone special (hehe!) yea so im quite happy and i think i should move on now....
its also half term at the mo and its goin quite well so far. i had friday off for a teacher training day so just chilled out during the day but then went to jo's for a girly night! we actaully had a chocolate fountain, with marshmallows, strawberries and bananas! and to make the night better we watched cinderella story! wooooooooooooooo loved it and im proud to say it! so thanks jo, louise, sinead, anna, lauren,shaz, rummie and laura for a fun night, love u guys!
yesterday was a good day too, met hannahs new guy and hes really nice, i def approve hannah, im just glad your happy chick! and i also was with gareth (smoking kills ya mate!) and gilly! it was fun, then i DROVE the boys home and it was then time for gilly bodyshop party! yyaaaay! havent got bored of them yet!
so yea thats all i can be bothered to write...

oh also these two here, gill and han, they are the BEST friends i can ever ask for, i wouldnt change them for the world, i love them more than words!

thats it im out!
god bless
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

a year from now...

2006-02-09T16:14:00.000Z

well reading toms blog just now, he goes on to say what will happen a year from now. I'm the type of person that if i had the choice to see me in a good ten years from now, i would most definately say no, i really wouldnt wanna know if i had the choice. It's just a scary thought thou, i mean if i did see myself in a few years time the thing i would be most scared of would be what if what i saw wasnt what i wanted. What if i was in a job i didnt like, what if i was alone, what if id lost contact with my friends now.
Over the past few weeks i have found it hard in my faith and i have struggled a lot. I really felt that i have drifted from god and it was a really lonely place to be. I'm feelin a bit better now, but i still feel im not as close to god as i should be. Maybe its my own fault, im not prayin and reading my bible enough and sometimes i put things before god, like college stuff and seeing friends. Its been hard and a really lonely place to be but a lot of amazing people have prayed for me and its now up to me to pray and trust in god more.
But back to what i was saying before, I dont think i have got into hertforshire uni, i rang up yesterday afternoon and they said i was too late for the course starting next febuary, even though i handed my nmas form before the closing date. The woman on the phone wasnt the nicest person in the world, and if i dont get accepted, i dont get accepted, im not going to get too upset but obviously god does not want me there and he has other plans for me. I still have yet to hear from Luton, but other people that have had interviews havent heard from them either so i suppose thats a good thing.
So a year from now i could be studying at uni, but the scary thing is what if i dont get into any university, does that mean god doesnt want me at uni this year? I just hope soon he lets me know what to do when i leave 6th form.
This year didnt really start off great, but this month started off really good for many reasons. I mean this time last year i was still doin my AS levels and was near enough preparing for the 24 hour famine. I cannot beleive how fast that year has gone. But I dont think i could have got through college now without my friends there! i love them all. And the thing that really upsets me is that a year from now we will all be seperated and hardly see eachother, and honestly it makes me so sad to think that. But as a friend said, i have to make the most of 6th form, and the time with my friends before the year is over. But really i couldnt have got through the c/w, exams and moany teachers without them.
what i really want a year from now, if im being completly honest, i do still want to be training to be a childrens nurse, have my friends like gill and hannah nearby, and just being happy, and growing in my faith. im pretty sure that it will happen, but theres always that small doubt in my mind.
well thats all i had 2 say
xxx

driving...........

2006-02-05T21:41:00.000Z

well i think this weekend has been great to totally some it up! with passin my test on friday, having friends over, and driving my car, you cant say that thats a bad weekend!
i went to osmosis on friday night, and that was fun too! unfortunalty i had to work on the saturday but i had a friend over in the eveing (coz i had a free house!) so that was fun too! today was just an all round great day! mum came with me and we drove the route that i am going to go when goin college, then i went round on my own! and to be honest, it wasnt that scary! i was quite happy and independent!
then me n hannah went town area, bought loads of sweety things and then we jsut drove round the stopsley area! it was so much fun! hannah cant actaully beleive i can drive, but she did keep on reassuring me that im a really good driver! thnx hannah!
went to church tonight and i DROVE there! anf then i took my lovely friend gill home! we had a lovely chat, and she cant believe im driving too! but gill i love ya and im glad for our chat, and i got 2 listen to late night love when i drove home, coz i dont have a cd player yet!
well thats all i got to say! also names for my car.....george? but gill dont like that!!!
love ya all!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

GUESS WHAT...

2006-02-03T16:05:00.000Z

LISTEN UP I HAVE AN ANNOUCMENT TO MAKE! I, NATASHA MOSS, HAVE OFFICIALLY PASSED MY DRIVING TEST TODAY! I AM NOW ALLOWED TO DRIVE LEGALLY! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I CANT BELEIVE IT, IT HASNT ACTUALLY SUNK IN YET!!! IF GILL AND HAN ARE UP FOR IT, IM GONNA TAKE THEM OUT SUNDAY FOR A DRIVE! U WOULDNT BELEIVE HOW THIS FEELS, WOW!
THANKS FOR EVERYONES PRAYERS! REALLY, REALLY APPRICIATE IT!
LOVE YA ALL!!!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

tagged!

2006-01-31T15:09:00.000Z

well sophie has tagged me to do this, and since im not really busy, so here i go........

Four jobs I have had in my life:

sales assistant
waitress
babysitter
receptionist

Four movies I could watch over and over again

stepmom
ice age
10 things i hate about u
mean girls

Four places I have lived:
LUTON....... END OF!

Four TV shows I love to watch:

desperate houswives
my wife and kids
eastenders
shameless

Four places I have been on vacation (holiday!! haha):

america (florida)
turkey
portugal
spain

Four websites I visit daily (or weekly):

google
blogger
msn hotmail
msn space

Four of my favourite foods:

spagetti bolanase (man i cant spell!)
tuna salad
nandos dinner!
pizza!

Four singers I can't live without:

james blunt
coldplay
kelly clarkson
craig david

Four places I'd rather be:

the hotel i went to in turkey
shoppin in new york
up the eiffel tower
visiting niagra falls!

Four bloggers I am tagging:

gill
karen
chris
jana

well thats done now! didnt take that long thou!

TASHAS QUESTION: how do u really know when to actually move on on from the past? how do u know that what your trying to hold onto isnt there anymore? how do u know if the choice you make is the right one or wrong one? and how do u know that someone wont get hurt in this situation.....

hmmm i think i need to pray and get some answers now......

tasha xxxxxxxxxxxxx

friends...

2006-01-27T23:09:00.000Z

hehe well im going to be a total copycat, after reading sophies blog i have decided to dedicate a
blog for my friends and put up a few pics i love (man this can be a long post!) here we go.....

well this was taken like end of may last year its one of my ultimate fave pics of me and my tow favourite girls. yyyaaayy!

now this was taken on my actual birthday (on a monday!) we had such a laugh at lunch and i love these girlies jo, me and nicole! in the college refectory! go us!!

one of my favourite pics of gill and me, and this was at the backstreet boys concert! yyyaaaayyy! im proud 2 be a backstreet boys fan!

gill, me and fiona the day after we got back from ignite in the summer! took sooooo many photos that day!

this was taken round gills birthday...oh dear we have drink in our hands.....ooppss!

now this was my 18th party and these is just a few of the people that came in my conservatory. there mainly college people but i love them all! look at how happy we all are!! lol

this was taken at an outside concert back in november time! theres hannah, gill, me and liz! we were actaully freezin while this was being taken!

this is me, laura, sarah and louise in the famous NANDOS! wooooooooo, i love nandos! and this was also back in november

lastly this was when infintiy when on a weekend away way back in april last year and this is one of my fave pics from the whole weekend!
theres gill, emma,fiona, me and liz!

okay ive had my fun now but i will put up more pictures very soon!
also had my interview and it went very well so fingers crossed i got in. hannah also came round tonight and we had a really good evening chilling out and talking about everything. okay its getting late now im off 2 bed!

byyeeeee
xxxxxxxxxxxx

baby be mine

2006-01-25T22:00:00.000Z

well as promised to tom i watched the baby be mine that was shown on the bbc tonight. there were three different stories about familes from england that want to adopt abandoned children from abroad. one was from china, the other from russia and then there was sarah wades story from romania. honestly it brought tears to my eyes to think how thousands of children are just left abandoned and have no family. i think what sarah is doing is amazing and with her story being shown on the bbc, it would have touched a lot of peoples hearts. and i know that when she told her story at church it was just amazing to hear what she had to say. and i think that its really great news that her son, dylan, is allowed to be brought to the uk where he can be given the help he needs. i wish them all the best x x
also i have my luton uni interview tomorrow so hopefully all will go well and they will accept me. i have yet to hear from hertfordshire but if its right for me to go it will happen.
yeeyy desperate housewives is on......im off
x x x x x

over!!!

2006-01-23T17:22:00.000Z

yep all my exams are over and it really does feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! wooo! i had the big psychology one today and it went OK didnt go mega bad but didnt go great too! they asked about theories about maintence of relationships - ok that wasnt that bad! then in perception they asked - discuss research into perceptual organisation! - TASHAS RESPONCE **cries!** ehhh i felt like running out the exam hall as soon as i read it! so i though right ok ive got to write something so i wrote about everythin i knew about perception then i cant really be wrong! last question was evaluate in evolutionary terms human intelligence! that was ok too! all i want is a D be great if i got a C but i soooooo dont want to fail or get E!! please not a repeat of last year! that was awful!
well i feel a lot better from gettin that out in the open!
also went ice - scating on saturday and that was fun part from the fact that i was on the edge most of the time but i did eventually get better! lol. the sad thing is i used 2 be really good at it but my confidence has gone down so hopefully i'l be better at it next time!
also congradualtions nicki on passing your driving test!!! u did so well and im lovin your corsa! also happy 18th 2 leona for wednesday! hope u havea great day babe and i cant wait till your party on saturday!!!
got a lovely email from miriam today, miss u mim and your always in my thoughts!!!!
got a interview for luton uni thurs so fingers crossed it goes ok and im out with sinead, lauren, aaron and michealla on thursday night! i have no idea how im gonna afford this goin out! being broke is not good!!!
anyway im off
god bless
x x x x x x x

i hate chicken!!!

2006-01-16T14:19:00.000Z

yea and the reason why is coz i have not been feeling myself all weekend coz of chicken i ate on friday night! damn and now im off college coz of it! havent really ate anythin all weekend coz just the thought of food makes me feel even worse!! so now im in my pj's at half two in the afternoon writing this blog feeling pretty crummy! but yes anyway! lets talk about something else other than chicken!
friday night.... part from the chicken story me and han chilled out and watched dvds.
saturday was a really good day coz me, gill, steve, greg, chris and naomi chilled out in town. we had such a laugh while lookin at the dresses in debenhams! (found nice ones that would suit steve! hehe) and sunday i worked! oh fun!
i also learnt from a friend that i think that i need to love life more and mayb stop holding onto the past and think to the future. i need to do this more... but it may just be me but i feel scared of where i will be ten years from now. id like to think that i will be married....mayb kids.....have a secure job and house and have grown more mature in my faith. but the reason why it may be scary is that what if i want to happen doesnt happen, however much i want it to. im findin this with a situation im going through now but i know that however much i want it to happen i know i do have to carry on with life, love it and wait and see what happens! if god wants it to happen it will...in his timing
okay thats the point i wanted to put across and dont eat chicken from take aways!!! their evil!!
god bless
x x x x x x

KURIOS!

2006-01-10T17:50:00.000Z

well as u can see i went to a gig on saturday night (i know its a bit late to write about sat but oh well!) and we went to see my friend steves band which is called kurios of course! anyways it was the best gig ive been to and they were all amazing :steve,dan,caroline and jeff! they played a mixture of songs from evenesence to kelly clarkson! the song that they wrote (cant rememeber it off the top of my head!) but that was brilliant too! if any one wants to check out their website its www.kuriosrock.co.uk

im feeling pretty stressed if i am being honest, i have a exam tomorrow, another one next week, anther one the week after then i have a uni interview for luton a few days after! see this ius why i hate january!!!! the weather is horrible and its exam time! ahhhhhh!!but im going to be a good girl now and i am going to revise!

god bless u all!
xxxx
p.s- heres a couple of pics below of the guys in action on saturday!!

appriciation

2006-01-06T23:31:00.000Z

okay i think that should be my new years resolution!! appricaite people and things i take for granted more! and the sad thing is, i dont as much as should!
okay i do not think i appriciate my parents as much as i should do! they have supported my throughour my whole life and have always seem to pull me up from the surface when times get really tough! and i know many girls dont but i can really talk to my parents ( yes my dad!) about boys, college and my friends! even if half the time i dont really wanna hear what they are sayin, i know at the end of the day they only want to make me happy!
also my brother. i do not think that i appriciate him as much as i should do! yea he can be a total pain in the neck, but hes the only brother ive got and if anythin happened to mum and dad, we stuck with eachother! i really hope in some way he will just mature and we can build a proper relationship with eachother!
my friends too, i serioulsy think that i do take them for granted! like i didnt txt my best friend all week to see if shes okay! im proper ashamed to say that! i just really pray that god will bless me and that he can really make me appriciate the family and friends around me!
wow! okay that feels a bit better!
in other news.....i failed my driving test today! yes i am pretty gutted and dissapointed with myself but ive already booked my next one so lets hope its second time lucky! i only got 2 minors but it was that bury park roundabout that was a major, my nerves were the main problem and i got my lanes a tiny bit mixed up! oh dear! well all my friends that have txtd me tonight have been great........like gill, jase, leona, lauren s, nicole, sarah j, lyndsey, jo and my cousin joanne made me smile and i felf a bit better! according to them the best drivers dont pass first time! well we will have to wait and see! my dad did the great thing of ringing everyone he told to tell them the ''bad'' news!'' thanks dad! and my mum cant say anythin coz she told ppl too! this time i learnt my lesson and im not tellin a lot of ppl, i might just limit it ton 5 people! includin my parents and nick!
oh and a thanks to soph and gill! soph - we have chatted loads this week and im sooo glad your there 2 talk to! and gill i know weve hardly talked this week but i love ya huni buni and thanks for just bein a friend......i couldnt ask for more!
well i have steves kurios gig tomorrow and im going with han n gill. it should be good and im looking forward to it!
right im off
god bless u all
and to all a goodnight!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

2006-01-03T15:18:00.000Z

yep.....thats who i let in 2006 with! my two gorgeous best mates gill and hannah! and yes thats me in the middle! haha! we had such a great night which involved giggles,alcohol, spilling and monopoly! ahh, good times!

anyway moving on, i unfortunately went back to college today, but it was a half day so it wasnt that bad! it was good to see my friends but to be honest we all were still recovering from the new year! and i was ill the first week of the holiday and i feel i should get another week off!! but i know that wont happpen!! straight after english i had a two hour driving lesson, and now im shattered! i made a couple of mistakes but my manouvers went really well, lets hope i do that in the test! and i also hope that my nerves dont get the better of me! and i have another driving lesson tomorrow! when does this driving end!!!!???
sorry to sound so depressing but january isnt really a favourite month of mine! last jan was awful!!! and i have loads of exams this month so im not really looking forward to it! i have a headache just thinking about it! i hope this month goes quick!!
ohh and i got the sugababes new album for christmas and i love the lyrics to the song follow me home, heres a bit of the lyrics ---->
When you're feeling all alone
Hear the words that I'm singing to you,
Like a seed that has been sown
As you grow,
I will protect you

ok thats just a bit but i think people should go out and get it, its a great album! but i have to say my favourite albums from 2005 have to be:

james blunt - back to bedlam (for many reasons!!)
backstreet boys - never gone
coldplay - x & y
kelly clarkson - breakaway!

ok they are my ultimate favourite albums, i havent got bored listening to them yet!

thats it, im out! - oh jsut realised this is my first post of 2006!! hehe

love always and god bless

xxxxxxxxx

happy new year!

2005-12-31T16:05:00.000Z

this is just a very quick post to say happy new year to you all, have a great night
love always and god bless
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

new year - 2006!!!!

2005-12-29T15:09:00.000Z

well its that time of the year, when 2005 is nearly over and to be honest i have had a really good year. so much has happened in the last 12 months and there has been many happy times, however with the happy times there can be bad times too. the highlights for 2005 for me would be..........

24 hour famine!
week-end away!
the easter weekend!
ignite
turkey
my work experience at the hospital!
my 18th!!!!
passing my theory test
coldplay
backstreet boys!
times at nandos and aroma and not forgettin comotion!

ive loved this year and i can honestly say its been the best year ever so far. ive build up friendships and become a lot closer to people

ive made so many new people and friends, like from college, ignite and also from turkey. and i know im repeating myself but turkey was the best holiday i have ever been on. i had such a great time and loved every minute. The only thing that was missing was my friends and that i couldnt take them with me!

Ignite, that was the most amazing experience in my life. The first night i was there and seeing the young people re-commiting and commiting to god was so amazing i cant put it into words!

In a way i wish this year wouldnt end but i do have stuff to look forward to for next year like.............

hopefully i should be driving
starting uni
turning 19
having a great summer with friends
meeting up with friends (like soph, we have to meet this year, i mean next year!)

im sure i have other stuff that will happen in 2006 and so many more happy memories that maybe might top this year!

with the good times there may be bad times too, like the earthquakes in pakistan, the july 7th bomings that killed a lot of innocent people. I ahve also had a few personal bad times this year but i have learnt that i need to trust god more when times get tough and that hes always there for me no matter what!

I think ive said enough now and im sure as soon as i finish this i will proberly think of more good times from this year!

god bless everyone and have a great 2006 coz you all deserve it!

love ya all

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

santas coming to town

2005-12-24T19:28:00.000Z

yep its that time of the year again and santa will be on his sleigh tonight to give pressies to the little kids around the world! wooooo! ive been a good girl this year so i should be gettin what i asked for!
oh and a message to soph, i was going to do the seven thins but but internet went funny as soon as i finished it and i lost it! :( well annoyed!
and i finally went to see narnia on thursday night and it was brilliant. i loved it and im so glad i went coz i wasnt going to as i didnt really feel that great! the part when the lion sacrificed his life and they cut of his mane, that brought tears to my eyes as it was just what jesus done for us on the cross. it was such a good film and anyone who hasnt seen it yet, go see it, its worth it!
had to work today, not happy and loadsa people were right scrooges! it must be my age coz im not really that excited, i must be getting old!
im off to the midnight mass service tonight that should be fun
right i want to wish every single person i know a very happy christmas, u all totally deserve it and i hope u all get what u want from santa!
god bless and happr christmas!
love always
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

not 100%

2005-12-21T17:11:00.000Z

well this past week hasnt been that great because i havent been feeling that well! i think i had a coldy, fluey bug thing! not good and also babysittin till 3.30 in the morning on saturday did not help!! i decided to go to the evening service on sunday as i had to do a reading and it was the carol service. however as soon as i finished my reading i felt terrible! i didnt get any sleep at all the night before and i felt so light headed that i had to sit down during the carols! by the time it finished i had no choice but to go home i felt that bad! lol so yea that was my sunday!
monday....did some more christmas shoppin then went to infinity. tuesday had a driving lesson (oh fun!) then unfortunately i had to work!
todays been quite good though, i met up with gill for my sort of mentoring and then i went to aroma with andy, charlie, steve, greg, fi and gill! that was really nice and i had such a good time! im also goin out tonight for my friends 18th so that should be fun!
sorry its a short post im still feeling a bit *eerggh*
god bless
xxxxxxxxxxx
p.s - this is my first post of me writing on my computer in MY ROOM!!! wooo! hehe

COLDPLAY!!

2005-12-17T10:30:00.000Z

i am well and truely proud to be called a coldplay fan after last night! i went to see them at earls court with gill naomi and chris and it was brilliant and words cant explain how great it was! i loved every song they did and they put on a GREAT show! on the song yellow they put yellow balloons into the audience and at one point chris martin came into the audience! wow! hes brave!
speed of sound is one of my favourite songs and to hear it live was absolutly amazing!!! and of course FIX U was def the best song and was the last song they did! again to hear it live, words cant describe what its like. its like in their video when the audience sings the last chorus, we did that and im sooo proud to be a part of that! it was amazing!!!!
this time last year i would have never considered to see them in concert but i loved very minute that they were on stage!
one word = AMAZING!!!
I LOVE YA COLDPLAY!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

10 seconds of fame!

2005-12-11T20:34:00.000Z

well watched songs of praise and i got a proper close up!! it was quite embarassing actually! the they showed a really good clip of me gill n han and we all looked so happy! : ) hehe. i had so many people coming up to me at church! so yea i had my ten seconds of fame!
i got my christmas tree down today, all by myself! i think i did a pretty good job! i also do this thing every year in which i write down what i want for 2005 and put it away with the christmas decorations. so i found it today and half the stuff i wanted for this year have happened but a couple of things didnt like joining a gym! haha yea cant see that happenenin! but stuff like still goin st marys, getting good exam results and having a good 18th birthday! that all happened! im glad

hope everyones ok! oh this is one of the shortest posts ive done!
god bless
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

watch songs of praise everyone!!!!

2005-12-10T09:39:00.000Z

thats exactly what i want everyone to do tomorrow afternoon! the time has finally come and the st marys showing of songs of praise is on tommorrow! look out for me as i am wearing a red jumper! that should be easy to spot! ive also told my college friends bout it and they said they will watch it! im very excited!! woo!

has anyone else realised that 2005 has gone quite quick! i cant believe that were about to celebrate christmas! then it will be 2006! ive had my good points and not so good points for 2005 but im sure 2006 will be a good year as i will be leaving college and hopefully starting uni. it doenst seem that long ago that is was my first day at 6th form, it goes so quick! but ive made such good friends at college! it feels like in the first year your making new friends and meeting new people, but the 2nd year is developing those friendships and thats definately happenin! there all great and i love going out with them guys! i have a lot of 18th birthdays to go to this year!

right i only have a few presents left to buy but there the hardest ones! i knew i should have done them first! ohh and im off to see coldplay next friday with gill and 2 mystery guests! ( ask gill not me!) very exciting! but im so sorry guys i cant come to the christmas meal! have a good time and enjoy chicagos! hehe! im working 4-10 today so im still in my pj's as im writing this! dont really know what im gonna do today, its weird me staying at home on a saturday! but im annoyed coz why would debenhams wanna open till 10 tonight! their so silly! but i have sinead and lauren to keep me company! i love them girls!

god bless everyone!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

wat can i say?!

2005-12-06T20:24:00.000Z

urm....exactly i cant actually think of a title!
well whats happened since my last update....nothing much really. did a lot of driving on sunday and went to church on sunday! had such a nice chat with chloe and she gives really gd advice! thnx hun!
monday.......well we all hate mondays and i said to myself that since i have a lot of free's in college i will revise for my mock exam for psychology! oh dear that didnt go too well as sinead and laura found me and dragged me to the refectory! ahhh damn u guys! so yea was in the refectory till about 1 then had a hour to revise. got a lift home from leona, as i always do on a monday, and did more revision! (man i sound soooo boring!)
then i went off to infinity! we talked about grace and i know exactly who i need to give more grace too and to be perfectly honest its hard to give it. maybe because that person has hurt me and people i care about. but still i pray that god will give me grace and jesus did die on the cross for me to take away my sins. so yea cell was good and we had a good prayin session in the dark! ( thnx claire!) and i also decided that my vicar is the most graceful person i know! i know how lovely am i?! hehe
also is it me or has the amount of couples in luton grown! all im seein in college is couples and all im seeing in town is couples! specially in the refectory, u cant look anywhere without seeing a lovey dovey couple! dont worry im not sayin its a bad thing but i just thought id put a random comment in!
im sending a lot of chritmas cards this year, a lot of my ignite girlies have sent me their address so im more than happy to send them a card! i miss them all!! xx
i have my mock exam tomorrow! oh dear, i have revised but it doesnt feel like its actually sunk in yet. that cannot be good! but like what andy said in infinity yesterday exams dont matter to god and everything happens for a reason in gods purpose. im sure i'll be fine : ~ (ok thats supposed to be a confused smily!)
okay im going now
god bless
xxxxxxxxxx

time is precious

2005-12-03T22:26:00.000Z

hey............
well as a said in my last post its now exam time for me and that means revision! wahey : (! i have a psychology mock exam on wednesday and for the past two night i have actually really revised! im so proud of myself! i know i have said it before but i didnt realise how hard a levels are! specially psychology! all this revision is giving me a heacache, so i need to know when to take a break!
christmas is coming now and that is scary! i need to get 5 more presents! but i am having some help, i dont think i could manage christmas shoppin by myself! another thing i have to work 12-6 chritmas eve and 1-7 on boxing day! well thats a great break aint it?! plus revisin over chritmas im gonna have a great holiday! well as my dad says it doesnt get any easier and it is true! but trusting in god will help me throu! also listenin to craig david and james blunt is helping me a lot with this silly revision! and im gettin the new criag david album for chritmas, something to look forward to! its hard thou coz i actually feel that im cramming so much in so little is that makes any sence?! time for revision, time with friends, time with family, time with god, work and silly little im between stuff. i think becuase of this i do feel quite ill and more tired! i am feeling really emotionally and physically drained! and thats not good!
in other news my brother is turning 16 on friday! but to be honest he dont act like it! and ive decided just to give him money for his birthday! what 16 year old boy will turn down money?! u tell me who! lol
im off........
god bless xxxxx

stressed!!! ahhh!

2005-11-30T13:30:00.000Z

hey....
as much as i love this time of year, as its slowly getting towards christmas, it also means exams and coursework time! i hate getting stressed but the work at college is really piling up and im really struggling in psychology. i have a mock exam a week today and looking at the exam questions today, i have no idea what to write about! well thats what it feels like! and also since my exams are in january that means i unfortunately have to revise over the chritmas break! also i have to work chritmas eve!! : ( , new years eve and new years day! they have also asked me to work boxing day 8-7!! but im really not gonna have much of a chritmas holiday at this rate! i just feel little things like that im gettin stressed over! i felt so run down that i missed a meeting monday night. i just felt so ill so i had a night in!
also one of my friendships with someone has kinda drifted and its actually quite sad but this person was making me feel so uncomfortable and it really got to the point where everytime thier name comes up on my phone i just feel sick. the reason why tis sad is coz we used to be so close and i used to tell them everything but now its the total oppisite : (
oh i saw harry potter last night with the family and it was actually one of the best films i have seen for a while! dad thought it dragged a bit but i really enjoyed it, cant wait for the next one to come out! but knowing my luck we got the annoying kids in front of us who would not stop talkn throughout the film!! im too shy so i didnt tell them to shut up, wish i did now!
also i bought a christmas album monday, it has all the classics on it! i wish it could be christmas every day.........rocking around the christmas tree.................santa baby!! hehe! thats one of the best things about christmas, cheesy songs!
well im off byeeee
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

prayer is amazing and so's gill!!

2005-11-27T10:41:00.000Z

hey....
well on friday night me and gill had some quality time and spent time together just the two of us! it was a laugh and we both had such a good night! we got some ''goodies'' from asda *ahem* and totally pigged out when we got back to mine! yea and another thing (god is amazing for letting this happen!) me and gill are in exactly the same position with our situation that were in at the mo! even though its not really the best situation to be in but we can support and help eachother through it! and we also know the right words to say to eachother! its great and its really brought us closer together! we prayed, i prayed for gill and she prayed for me and we prayed over a particular song (soph u know what i mean!) and it really did help! and whats amazing you could really feel gods presence with us both! wow! it was the best friday night ive had in a while! were gonna pray again tonight at church, so look forward to it gill! im so glad god brought gill into my life. before i met her me and mum prayed for me to have a best friend and gods so awesome he gave one to me! amen! and gill came along! and to be honest we have been unseperatable since. i tell her everything and she knows me so well that she can tell when im upset and when im lying! hehe! i love ya loads hun and sometimes i dont show it!
god bless everyone!!!
xxxxxx

and the host for this evening is.....

2005-11-23T13:30:00.000Z

ME!! and hannah of course! lol, yea to make whoevers reading less confused i had a body shop at home party last night! it went very very well! so i was happy and loads of people bought lots of stuff. and that helped me get free gifts! yay! im not complaining! however i didnt recieve my free facial?! urm....yea not good! a funny thing happened, sinead spilt coke on the carpet (ok so my parents werent pleased!) but she managed to do this my 18th too! obviously she doesnt like my carpet!

moving on does anyone have a song/album/singer that reminds you of someone? well i do. im not gonna say what singer it is but i will put in some lyrics to the song. (if you have his album you should recognise it!)

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?'
Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

honestly thought, i dont know wether to smile or cry when i listen to this song. smile coz of the good times but cry because its not the same. all the same i still love it.

also i am soooo stuck with what to get my 16 year old brother for bday and chrsitmas this year. ideas would be most grateful!!

god bless
xxxxxxx

stupid coursework!!

2005-11-21T13:34:00.000Z

well here i am in college (coz my inernet is still not working!) and im am tryin to get this english coursework finished so i can start revisin! its not really due in till a week on thurs but i just really want to get it out of the way! im quite proud of myself actually coz i have done 2,500 words so far and we only have to do 3,000! woo! but yea moving onto exams! im really starting to feel the pressure now! my subjects are getting harder and harder and i feel like im being left behind, and its not nice. i had no idea how hard A levels are going to be ( well according to tom their easy - yea whatever!!) but to tell you the truth i will be so glad when this year is over and get the qualifications i need for uni. i dont know if ive mentioned it but i either want to go luton or hertfordshire to study peadiatric nursing, which is childrens nursing to all those who dont know! ive always wanted to work with children, ever since i was a child so i really hope that i do get into uni and study it. for some reason if i dont get into uni, i know that everything happens for a reason so god must want me to do a gap year! but yea i will talk about that another time.
had quite a good weekend. went to good old nandos on friday with jo, laura, louise and sarah so that was fun! then hannah decided to come over for a bit so we kinda had a girly night and ate loads of chocolate! all good! saturday unfortunately i had to work. talk about boring and i have to work christmas eve, so not fair!! and there expectin me to work boxing day too! so not happening! but yea went to both services on sunday and got to see karen and steve, who i havent seen for a while! and in between the services i went for lunch with karen, chris, gill and malrieke so yea that was cool!
also congradulations to my cousin jo who passed her driving test thurs! well done hun!
urm also i started my christmas shoppin yesterday! wooo im strating early thins year! go me! but to all those reading, what can i get a 16 year old boy for christmas?? ideas would be most appriciated!
urm can think of anything else to say so good bye and god bless
xxxxxx

nikita moss!!

2005-11-11T15:36:00.000Z

hey!!
i am so sorry for not updating in ages! i actually have no computer and no internet access at home so i am forced to write this in college! talk about privacy! looking back at my last post the last time i wrote was when i was still on half term and that seems like ages ago! let me start from there, but before i begin, the reason for my title is that i found out this week that i was going to be called nikita, taken from one of elton johns songs! hehe can u imagine that? me nikita moss?! ok lets move on.....
the friday on half term i didnt actually do much, had a driving lesson and watched hannahs ballet! the saturday i had to work all day!! so long! ok this is too boring writing about every day so i'l just write the ''exciting stuff!''.....
college work is really piling up now, the courses are getting so hard and to be honest i am struggling with the coursework along with the revision, prayers - i would be most grateful! over the bonfire night weekend i ended up going to three firework displays three days in a row! i enjoyed popes meadow the most but right now i dont think i wanna see another firework display for a while! on the sunday i went to a christian concert followed by... yes you guessed it fireworks. the grand total that went was me, gill, hannah, naomi, hana, liz, lynds, toby and andy. but yea we had a good time, and took some very funny photos!
also looking back on my last post i seemed to be on a high, and was generally happy! this week has seemed to go really slow and it has had its ups and downs. and some points of this week have left me feeling upset, stressed and hurt :( (okay now i sound depressing!) but on wednesday night i found a really good and helpful bible verse. since i dont actually hav my bible on me right now i dont know the verse off by heart but the verse is Romans 12 :2, i think! well i know that ita about gods will for us. and it really helped me when i read it wednesday.
ohh anther thing i went to a bodyshop party on the wednesday of last week and i loved it! in fact me and hannah booked our own! how exciting! however the bodyshop woman hasnt rung us up yet and the party is supposedly happening a week on tuesday! ahhh!
okay i better be off now, i have loads of work to do!
god bless
x x x x x

happy, happy, happy!!

2005-10-27T09:08:00.000+01:00

well my title pretty much sums up how im feeling right this minute! i am sooo happy! everything seems to be going well for me at the mo! its great and i cant keep the smile off my face! hehe! i do have my reasons but the main one is being a christian, its amazing seeing what god does and what hes created! its amazing! im also happy about other stuff but i'l share that another time! heres a few bible verses that im loving at the mo......

John 8: 12 - I am the light of the world, the person who follows me will never live in darkness but will have the light that gives life.
John 8 : 36 - So if the Son makes you free you will be truley free. (im loving that!!)
Psalm 117 - All you nations, praise the Lord. All you people, praise him, because the Lord loves us very much, and his truth is everlasting!
Proverbs 18 : 24 - Some friends may ruin you, but a real friend will be more loyal than a brother.
Proverbs 28 : 13 - If you hide your sins, you will not succeed. If you confess and reject them, you will recieve mercy.
Proverbs 30:5 - Every word of God is true. He guards those who come to him for safety

I do has a few more but it will go on for ages if i carry on.

on another note, half term is going really well. monday when i was with gill we bumped into kieran (aka king kieran!) nice guy, wish u the best of luck with your travels kieran, cant wait to hear all about it! then we met han, dan and charlie for lunch in aroma, which was cool, it was nice to catch up. urm.. i dont really think i hav done anything thats worth mentioning (or do i?! hehe) i have to work today 3-8 oh fun! oh and its my mums birthday today! happy birthday!!! love tash xx. shes off to berlin for five days with her mum and sisters so poor me the only girl left in the house with nick and dad! oh joy!

im off god bless

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

BACKSTREETS BACK!!

2005-10-22T19:48:00.000+01:00

well i went to see the backstreet boys last night and they were 100% great, fun and i loved every single minute of it! i knew every single word to every single song! and im so proud to admit it! i did some recordings on my fone but the maint thing u can hear is me singing along to the songs! and i got a few videos on my camera minus the sound! but oh well i have the memories and the photos so its fine! debbie and gill were the best ppl to go with, we had such a laugh!
thnx so much gill, one of the best presents ive ever got! love ya hun xxx

flown by.....

2005-10-21T10:06:00.000+01:00

wow, is it just me or has the past few days just flown by! its a good thing thou coz it now means that im on half term! yey, i finally have a week off college! i need it!
now let me think what have i done since i last updated. after my two lessons on the tuesday i spent nearly the whole day with my friend nicole, which was great! we had lunch in debenhams and then went back to mine. its so good that weve finally become more closer, specially everything that shes been throu in the past month. moving onto wednesday, i only had one lesson then i was back home. i had to face the dentist that night (which to all of you that know me well, i absolutley HATE the dentist, even if its just for a check up, i feel physically sick as soon as im in the waiting room) buy anyway it went fine they just polished my teeth, it didnt taste very nice! and then that night i went to my weightwatchers meeting and i managed to lose another half a pound! i was serioulsy expecting to put it on due to my birthday weekend! i was shocked!
lol moving on i then went to meet the guys for an hour or so for robs birthday! hes 20!! that will be me in a couple more years! now that is scary!
thursday! haha, you never guessed what i did! i somehow forgot my english first draft c/w that was meant to be in by last lesson. i paniced and decided in my mind that i will walk all the way home (50 minutes!) and get it and walk back in time for my english lesson! yes i know im mad but at least i handed it in!
and tonight people i am seeing........wait for it........ THE BACKSTREET BOYS! i am proper excited! a few people have taken the mick (not mentioning any names, but they know who they are!!) but i do not care, and i dont care at the fact that i know the words to nearly every song that they have released! i cant wait!
i think thats it now..... speak soon
god bless
xxxx

MY GREAT BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!

2005-10-18T20:09:00.000+01:00

hey......
well my birthday was the best birthday i could ever ask for! the party on saturday was a complete success and i loved every minute of it! before i start rambling on here is the list of people that came and i wanna thank them so much for coming!
gill, han, rob, jess, adam, dan, jason, gill vdm, laura n jez, paul, nicole, lauren, anna, sarah jane, sarah b, sinaed, matt, laura, jo, mark, kate, gemma, sinaed, kerry, leona, kayleigh, nicki,nina,corinne,lyndsey. i think that was it, if i forgot anyone im really sorry i still love ya!
anyway moving back onto the party. my dad put a gazebo in the garden and put fairy lights in the conservatory. it looked great and they also put on a bbq! also my parents suprised me by putting on some fireworks, in which i had no idea about! i was suprised! i made a little speech at the end by sayin to everyone i love them and im so glad that they came! very emotional (and tipsey!) as i got a great responce by them saying back '' we love ya too tash!!' awww, i have fantastic friends!
best bits of the party included my friends making a circle and me dancing in it! haha. sinead spilling drinks everywhere! the great group photos that me and jo took! thnk jo! everyone singing happy birthday to me! gettin loads of hugs and kisses off everyone at the end of the night, ( yea and so what if they were drunk!) and just people telling me the following monday that it was one of the best parties that they have ever been to! thats so great to hear! if anyone wants to see the photos check out my msn space! also nicole stop apologisin hun, u totally deserved to have a great time! i love ya loads!! x x x
i could go on for ages bout my party but i think i do need to stop at some point! gill n han stopped over that night and i didnt sleep well at all that night, considering that fact that i was still quite hyper at three in the morning! hehe!
moving onto my actual birthday on the monday i had to go to college :( but it did end up being quite a laugh! in the refectory we ended up gettin coke everywhere! and i got a doughnut! thats always good! me jo, nicole,sinead,sarah and lauren had such a giggle @ lunch, i dont think ive ever laughed that much in college before in my life!! but yea after college i went home and opened all my presents and cards! thank u so much everyone for the every single present and card! it meant so much! i got a grand total of 42 cards!! i never knew i was that popular! oh and my cousin from london rang to wish happy birthday and it meant so much to me that he rang! i havent heard from him in ages!! i cant wait to see him again!!
well after that i went to infinity and got more cards and chocolates! always good and they all sang happy birthday to me! thnx guys! and thnx to naomi for the money and card! your an angel hunnie!
after infinity i ended up goin to the whitehouse for my first legal drink with chloe, her friend louise, jason and gill vdm. thnx jason and gill for buying my my first drinks!!! i had such a laugh and had loads of random people sayin happy birthday! also thnx jas for takin us all home, caddington, bushmead then to mine! your right i do like you taste in music, keep smiling jas!
one last thing before im off i wanna say thanks for every, happy birthday said, every card/present, email, txt, and drink bought! i have the best friends in the whole world! i love u guys!
god bless
x x x x x

not long now!!

2005-10-14T21:47:00.000+01:00

hey............
well guys only one more day till my party!!!! ahhhhh im so excited and a bit nervous as well. one of best friends who ive known for ages cant make it so yea i am pretty gutted and fi, one of the loveliest girls i know cant make it too so i'll miss her and it wont b the same without her!! love ya fi! but as my mum said my true friends will turn up! so lets just hope they do!
and another thing, i was supposed to go to cosco in watford tonight but we got a tiny bit lost and i think mum gave up looking for it! so we ended up getting all the food shopping in good old asda! hehe!
well im off, long day tomorrow cant wait!!!
byeeeee n god bless!!
x x x x x

gettin nearer!!

2005-10-12T12:16:00.001+01:00

well, this week seemed to go so quick and its wednesday already! wooo, slow down! that means my party thing is only 3 days away and my birthday is only 5 days away! IM GONNA BE 18!!!! ahhhhh, thats quite scary as im going to be classed as an adult! and again i just pray that right amount and the right people will turn up. i always really hope people will socialise and i dnt want anyone left in the corner not enjoyin themselves! well if they are, i might leave gill in charge to talk to people who dont look happy! lol yea shes proberly reading this and thinkin, tasha hasnt told me this! sorry hun!
also i have loadsa cw to do and im tryin to get it done before friday so i can have a chill out weekend and enjoy myself! thats all i want!
sunday was alright, i was persuaded to come to the morning service and i was then told i had to do the prayers in the evening! well i was tempted to say no, coz i had so much cw to do and thought it i would never get it done. but i agreed and im so glad i did do the prayers, a lot of people encouraged me and sadi i did well, also thnx to jason who made me not so nervous before! i needed it. i dont know why but i always seem to get nervous when i have to get up and speak up the front! but i think it did help in my confidence and i wouldnt mind doin the prayers again! before the evening service me and gill ended up bumping inot steve and his kurios friends. so we went to comotion and catched up, it was great coz we all missed steve even though he had only been gone a month, think how were gonna feel wen he goes away again for longer!we'll miss ya steve!
urm....what else can i say, monday i was feeling a bit down because im upset about something and just felt so sensitive at infinity, i hope it didnt show too much!i had a mentoring session with gill vdm and had dinner round hers and it was great and we had fun cooking! also chloe and naomi, the past few weeks @ infinity weve kinda formed a trio, without meaning too and its great coz naomi's like a little sis and chloes like a older sis! i love them both and thnx for the hugs i needed monday! x x x
gill i havent forgot ya! i love u and im glad i have u to tlk 2, your a star and keep on shining! other people hav made me smile too this week and made me feel better from txts and tlkn on msn, im not mentioning names but they know who they are! at least i hope they do
ahh ive gone on a bit! ok im hopin to post again before sat!
take care and god bless
x x x x

the countdown begins!!

2005-10-08T21:43:00.000+01:00

yep, so as my title says i am counting down to my 18th birthday! my actual birthday (17th oct) is a week on monday, but my party thing is exactly a week today! woooo! half of me is really excited but the other half is like ahhh what if something goes wrong! my main worry is ppl turning up! i just want the right amount to come, not too many or not too less! this is the first ever party that im organising, and i really dont want it to go wrong! please pray! i also hope that people will get on with eachother, a mixture of college, church, high school and work friends! haha should be fun!
in other news i went to the recording of songs of praise last night! so much fun as me, gill and han were put in the front bit! we had our share of close ups and in one of them i was doing so well until like the last 30 seconds i looked at the camera! ahh i know i should have, but that just proves i wont make a good actress! no way! but yea it was fun, to be honest i did get a tiny bit bored at the end of the evening but it weas heading towards quater to eleven and we'd been there since half six! and to make matters worse me n mum had to get nick from hitchen and didnt get home till nearly midnight! plus sarting work at ten! gosh im so tired!
anyway sim off
god bless
x x x x x x x

funny feelings

2005-10-04T09:46:00.000+01:00

hey
sorry for the mini disappearing act. ive been busy with college work and more babysitting!
well by what the title says im not really feeling myself. i think im struggling with some stuff, and keep asking myself why does stuff like this happen. when its really not fair. i feel a lot better than i did last week but there is still thoughts going on in my head. its hard and gill and hana prayed for me last night. thnx guys. but i think i just need to keep praying.
im also off college today, i didnt sleep well at all last night and i woke up with a pounding headache and sore throat. this is the first time in a while ive been off college.
gosh i sound so negetive, lets think of some postive stuff. church was great sunday, a famous rugby player shared his testimony. and it was so inspiring. he mentioned that when his mum died when he was 18, he kinda blamed god. but over the past few years his faith has grown so much. it was great im so glad i went. i love tea and coffee after, its great talking to people at st marys, their all great!
we also have songs of praise at our church this week, so its very exciting! me gill n han managed to get tickets to watch. weve planned to wear bright yellow tops so we can stand out! lol. dotn worry im jokin. my friend jason has hopefull promised me a seat at the front! yea, im loving that!! hehe.
i was supposed to go out tonyt with friends, but i cant. sorry guys! have fun!
i think thats it. oh also my friend has her driving test today! good luck hun!! wow loads of my friends are booking their test! i feel like the only one! my drivings takin ages!! ahhhh! damn reversing!!
right ok im off now
god bless
x x x x x

babysitting, town and photo shoots!

2005-09-25T21:00:00.000+01:00

yea i know weird title but thats really what this week/weekend has consisited of!
i have babsat three times this week and i find it so cute that the kids actually get quite excited to know im looking after them! very flattering! well i used to get quite excited when my babysitter came round! lol
town, i think ive lived in the ardale this week,mainly with gill, han n rob.
oh and the photoshoot!! lol that was so funny. since i work as part of debenhams i got a free photo session from portrait place. so me han gill and rob got out pictures done (professionally!) the poses we done were so funny! we did about eight different poses. the funniest one was def the one where rob gave gill a piggy back and i gave hannah one! i want wait to see that on photo paper!
after that gill went to work, me han n rob chilled out, then rob was complaing he was hungry so he went. and me n han went to bb's and had such a nice chat!! we hardly talk one to one so it was really nice!
church was good, the fact i love going so much is that (obvioulsy to spent time with god!) but seeing people only once a week and catching up! its great coz u appriciate them so much more! lol. gosh im so soppy!
anyways im off, have a great week guys!
god bless
xxxxx

nice lyrics

2005-09-17T13:39:00.000+01:00

hey
i think with everything that has happened this week, i was listening to a cd and the lyrics are really nice. i think its about if you someone u love passes away and the lyrics are lovely...
wat do u think?

The things we did
The things we said, Keep coming back to me and make me smile again

You showed me how, to face the truth
Everythings thats good in me I owe to you
Though the distance thats between us now may seem to be to far.
It will never seperate us deep inside I know you are

Never Gone, never far in my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday, every step along the way
Even though for now we've got to say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life. Never gone

I walk alone, these empty streets There is not a second you're not here with me
The love you gave, the grace you've shown
Will always give me strength and be my corner stone
So how you found a way to see the best I have in me
As long as time goes on, I swear to you that you will be

Never Gone, never far, in my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday, every step along the way
Even though for now we've got to say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life .Never gone

If theres one thing I believe
I will see you somewhere down the road again

Never Gone, never far in my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday, every step along the way
Even though for now we've got to say goodbye I know you will be forever in my life
Never gone

x x x x

sad news

2005-09-16T09:07:00.000+01:00

hey,
just thought id keep you guys posted. my friends mum passed away yesterday morning.
my friend and her sister have been so brave and i admire them so much. they are great girls and their mum would be so proud of them.
thnx for all your prayers
god bless.
xxx

sometimes life doesnt seem fair

2005-09-13T15:47:00.000+01:00

some things in life, people question if our gods so great why does all this horrible stuff happen in the world and why bad stuff happens to nice people. well im a commited christian and i do really beleive that everything does happen for a reason, no matter how bad the situation is. there is some really terrible stuff going on in the world now and i know that the people that may be causing it, its thier choice and they dont know god yet, all we can do is pray for them.
another reason why i did put this post up is that a close friend of mine, her mum is very ill and only has a matter of days left. she and her sister both knew that shes always been unwell but i just think its just a terrible shock to them. they have a stepdad as well so my prayers are with him as well. its so sad and i really feel that my heart is breaking for her and her sister. yea life may seem quite unfair to them at the minute but they have great friends and family to support them and their mum wont be in pain anymore. its really sad writing this and seeing my friend yesterday and ehr sister earlier today my heart just breaks for them. there just such lovely people and have so much going for them. to be honest im unsure of what to say to them but maybe just giving them a hug and telling them your there for them may mean the world to them.
any person reading this please spare a few minutes just praying for them. they also arent really a church family so im also praying that maybe thier mum will meet with god before she passes.
sorry i went on guys
also thank you so much gill,gill vdm,julia and rob for praying. it means a lot.

god bless u guys xxx

so A2 begins....!!

2005-09-08T18:14:00.000+01:00

well today i was back at college! i wasnt nervous at all which is kinda suprising as i havent been in college in over 9 weeks! now thats long!
the day started with tutor now i paniced coz they moved me into a different tutor but god was obvioulsy there coz im in a great tutor, my tutor is really nice and i know a couple of the girls in there!
then i had health and social care lesson, with a new teacher, which is great and a grand total of 14 girl students! wahey! so the teacher now says she can give us more attention! bad news we will have coursework to do! oh well im not too bothered!
i had a long lunch but it was still good coz i got tlkn to people i havent spoken to since we broke up! they all asked ''how was mexico'' so i had tell the story many times how the hurricane hit the hotel and we went turkey instead!
lastly i had english language, which i wasnt really looking forward to but i was wrong again! i have a better teacher than i had last year and i made friends almost immediatley! god is awesome!
another thing i have the teacher i really wanted for psychology, god answered my prayers in so many ways today!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!
also, i finish @ 12 tues, finish @ 10.30 wed. start @ 10.30 thurs! and start at 12 tomorrow which means i get a lie in!!!! woohoo!!
sorry i think im done now!
god bless u all
x x x x x x x

coldplay and college!

2005-09-07T20:39:00.000+01:00

well i finally own the coldplay album (thnx gill!) and now i see what all the fuss about was! it is such a great album and have listened to it non stop! i like 'the message' and 'what if'. and also fix you is also a favourite! even though to many coldplays fans it may seem old now! but now i am officially a coldplay fan, and proud!
another thing i have college tomorrow and i cant decide if im looking forward to it or that i dont want to go in! im really looking forward to seeing my friends again as i havent really seen them all summer! but on the other hand i have had such a great summer, the best summer for a while. ive grown closer to my friend. just plain hanging out with my friends. my work experience in the hospital. that was great! TURKEY of course, wont forget that in a hurry! and not forgettin IGNITE!! ive done loads! i cant stop smiling! hehe!
another thing i have to say. i havent mentioned weight watchers for a while, yes im still going. i went tonight and i lost another one and a half pounds, so that means ive lost 9 and a half pounds so far! not bad, not bad! another four pounds then i would have lost a stone! woooooo!!! this diet is definatly wokring for me! YEY!
well good luck everyone who goes back school/college/work/ uni in the next few weeks! god bless ya all!!!
love always xxx

when im 18 i can......

2005-09-05T16:20:00.000+01:00

vote ( big wahey!!)
buy n drink alcohol! lol
go to jail - hehe naomi got a bit excited bout that point!
according to dad i can buy fireworks!
have a morgage!
go see a 18 movie legally!

hopfully be treated like an adult, which i am really hoping for (if anyone else knows waht else i can do when im 18, u can post a comment!!) lol

the reason why im posting about this topic is because i am 18 inless than 6 weeks and its so exciting! ive decided that i am having a few people over mine to celebrate, im hoping people will turn up but then again not too many people will turn up as i will be busy tiding up the next morning!

in other news i back at college on thurdays whcih im not really looking forward to, to be honest. i have had such a great summer and met so many new people which is so kool! i am looking forward to seeing my friends though as i havent seen them hardly all summer! im also trying to get this silly psychology coursework done but i keep getting distracted! that cant b good!

speak soon - god bless xxxx

p.s HAPPY 19TH BRITHDAY STEVE, HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! X X X

ideas please!

2005-09-01T16:50:00.000+01:00

hey guys...
this is hopefully going to be a short post. im turning 18 in about 6 weeks and im really desperate for ideas on wat to do. i was thinkin of a party type thing but i have this fear that people wont turn up, dont ask me why!so if anyone has any ideas at all it would help!
other ideas is that i really really need a job coz i really dont like mine anymore, if anyone knows of any part time jobs going please let me know, im getting desperate now, i cant really live on £100 a month coz my cars costing a fortune!
gosh i sound really negetive! im generally a positive person!
nothing much has happened, just havin a good time hanging out with mates.
enjoy the last of summer guys!!!
god bless xxxx

IGNITE 2005 & BYE CHARLIE!!

2005-08-29T10:32:00.000+01:00

hey guys!
sorry i havent written for a while but this weekend i havent stopped!
well from the 19th to the 26th august i was at ignite. which was totally amazing. i loved every minute of it and all the young people were great. it was just so amazing seeing god work through their lives, i wont forget it in a hurry!
im not going to write every detail but i have a few high lights!
- the 2nd night when the young people had the chance to commit and re-commit to god, wow that night was amazing and you could really feel gods presence in the room!
-oscars, that was totally wicked and everyone got dressed up and looked gorgeous!
-it also helped me grow in my faith and have a better relationship with god myself
- god moving through the young people
-forming good friendships with the young people as well as the leaders (there all great!)
-the carnival, even though it rained! we all still had fun!
-sharin a room with fi,lorna,becca and emily- there great girls!

and heres a few people i just wanna thank

CHARLIE,CLAIRE,KATE,MARK,HAN,MATT- just for organising the whole thing, u guys are amazing and worked so hard! well done!
WORSHIP TEAM- the worship was brilliant, the guys on the team worked really hard!
STEVE- you worked so hard despite being so tired, your great :)
GREG- you did a great job with the drama and god totally blessed u this week!
DAN-with the cafe! and u always know how to make me laugh in evening!
MIRIAM,CHRISTINE,KAREN- u three are like my big sisters, u three are amazing and i love ya loads, u worked so hard!
SCOTTIE- like my mum for the week,im glad for our chats this week :)
GILL- even though we didnt spent much time together, i loved the time we did spend with eachother love ya hun xx
FI-im so glad i call u a friend and that weve grown closer, it was great sharin a room
BECCA,LORNA,EMILY-it was great sharin a room wit u guys, your so lovely and im blessed to have met ya. miss u!
CAROLINE,JENNY- it was such a blessing to do a cell with u two!
MY GIRLS- JEN, EMMA,CHARLEY,MEGAN,ALICE,LIANNA,ELISHA- u girls are such a inspiration it was so good to see ya grow in your faith!
to any other people i forgot to mention, i didnt forget ya and i still love u!!! everyone that went ignite is great!
right ok that took some time! now im movin on to the weekend

saturday i had to work but i went to gordan and lesleys wedding reception! lesley looked lovely! and i had fun dancing with the girls all evening!!

sunday was quite a sad day coz it was charlies leavin services! straight after the morning service we had a bbq which was fun and loads of people turned up! then fi decided that we should have another bbq at her house! so me gill dan n fi went to fi's and cooked a few sausages and burgers, poor dan they were a bit burnt! but i prob would have done a worse job! then it was the evening and a few people went up to say how charlies helped us grow in our faith! i said that he has helped me so much by building my confidence by asking me to b a infinity cell leader and ignite leader! thanks so much charlie your going to be missed so much and you going to make such a great teacher!! i'll miss ya!!!
woah thats a long post!!! i'll try not to write so much next time
tashaxx
p.s- i also wanna say BYE KAREN!!! i will miss u and our friendship has grown so much, your like my big sister!! i love you!!! xxxx

excited!

2005-08-18T17:24:00.000+01:00

well tomoro im off to ignite and i cant wait!
im so excited and cant wait to go. i have never done something like this before so im looking forward to the challenge!
this week has been up and down but i know that even through the tough times god is always there! so praise the lord!
the funniest thing with weigh watchers, i was very naughty this week and had loads of crisps and chocolate, not all my fault, and i managed to lose two pounds! now please explain that to me!!
well i think i should go and finish packing
god bless everyone and have a great week
love tash xxxxxxxxxxxx

happy and sad.

2005-08-13T20:02:00.000+01:00

hey....
well i do have a lot to thank god for, my friends, family, my home and food on the table. This week i really have something to thank god for!
I think i mentioned it a while back that my mum sort of have a fall out with one of her friends. This kind of affected her daughter and me and our friendship was kinda on the rocks. Well anyway me and my friend became good mates again and explained how we felt and decided that it was up to out parents to sort out their differences. well our parents havent really talked since but when mum and dad were in town earlier this week,her friend made the effort to go and talk her as if nothing happened. PRAISE THE LORD!!! This has made me soooo happy and im so thankful to god that this has happened. ive been praying for this situation for ages and a few people know how its affected me. im just so happy. WOW i got that off my chest!
well moving on I dont know bout other people but i believe that everything happens for a reason. Now this week specially i have been thinkin of reasons of me not going to soul survivor. as much as i love the guys that went i just felt that there was some reasons that i wasnt going. As soon as i got through the front door wednesday morning from the airport i had CHARLIE CALLING on my mobile. and i knew that it was going to be about soul survivor, and it was, it was rob on the phone wanting me 2 go. now i love them guys to bits but i jut felt physically drained from havin absolutely no sleep. and to be honest i did feel quite upset after getting off the phone and in some ways i felt i was lettin them down that i wasnt goin. yea sad i know, but i think it was the sleep talkn. i feel a lot better now and mum and i have been prayin for the guys every single day this week and i know their having a great time!
so anyway by boss at work who i normalyy work with on a saturday rang me in the week and wasnt well and that i was to cover the shift saturday. if iw asnt there there would be know one else to cover the department as everyone else is either on holiday or ill.
we also got a phone call from my grandma in the week. i think i mentioned ages ago about the lump in her neck. well she went to the doctor to have a scan and they said they would ring her to let her know whats going on. its werid because soon after mum rang her the doctor called. he said that she needs to some immediatly next week. now that cant be good can it?so my parents went up north to see her today. i could kick myself because i really wanted to go but obviously i had to work :( . i feel really bad becuase i dont see as much as it is, and this could be really serious and time is too short. its scary becuase shes my only grandparent left and the one grandparent i felt close to. this is the time i really miss, gill rob han n dan, coz i can go talkin to them but i know thier having a good time and i can talk to them when they get back. i just really want to pray that god just takes away the fear and nerves that my grandma may experiencing and that god is with her every step of the way.
so yea i missed soul survivor this year but theres always next year and i know that god will really bless me and the other leaders when we go to ignite.
thnx for reading! i had a lot to say!
god bless x x x x x

p.s- i also want to thank god that i had a really good day at work, catching up with my work friends as we've all been away x x x

turkey was WICKED!!!

2005-08-10T12:46:00.000+01:00

hey everyone! im back!
well by the title i had a great holiday in turkey and enjoyed every minute of it!
theres so much stuff i have to write coz so there was so much stuff i did! im gonna try and write the best bits (i apologise now for the essay coming!)
well we got to the hotel at about six in the morning! and i only had 2 hours sleep coz nick thought it would b funny to wake me. by the way the hotel was lovely! it was a five star plus and the people and food was great! the waitress's there was so nice and to one of them im known as sprite girl! as u can guess because i always ordered sprite lol.
on to the subjects of nicknames, when i playing football (i say playin but i think i was more just standing there!) one of the turkish men called me a WHITE CHICKEN! haha, my friend amy seemed to find this hilarious! lol yea anyway...
back to the main points!
they had a nightclub in the hotel, wicked!, and me amy n kim went a few times but we found that most of the people there was weird old turkish men! oh well we had a laugh anyway!
oh and at 12 every day we had a thing called pool games! i was foolish enough to play them! on the second day i was dragged to do the game, which was to balance on a surf board in the pool and skip a rope! haha yea to all those who know me, can u really see me doing that successfully! obvioulsy not! and after the games we did a thing called the club dance, which is the best thing ever! i knew it off by heart by the end of the 2 weeks!just dont ask me 2 do it in luton!
another thing about the waitress's,u actually got to sit by the pool and they would come round, and bring drinks to u! and since it was all inclusive, they were all free!!!! WAHEY!
the weather was great there, and i feel so cold to be back in luton! i do have a bit of a tan, but nothing really to brag about!
another thing i must mention is the animation team. they were the people who did the pool games, shows in the evening and activities during the day! i became mates with one guy called roman who was on the team. hes a nice guy but is the biggest flirt ever! i think all the girls enjoyed the attention (including me ***embarrassed face***) he was a nice guy and i played crazy darts with him and few others during the holiday. if u got 0, u had 2 jump in the pool. of course i was in there most of the time!
another funny memory was my dad asking for a small brandy and getting this massive glass brought 2 him!
nick being called ''good looking by the waitors?!!'' *cough cough*
me amy and kim all trying to sit on one lilo! haha they have the photo to prove it!
Snow White the musical! that was one of the shows in the evening, one of the funniest thing ive seen for a while!
oh yea one of the days we went to a market. lets jst say the people there are a little to friendly!i was going to get my friends presents there but they were all just to ''in your face!'' if u were just looking at something they would hound u until u bought it!
there was also a beach party! that was so much fun. me and my new found friend vannessa went together and we had a laugh!
here are some phrases u lot wont have a clue about but they do bring back happy memories
TEMPO, TEMPO, TEMPO!
MINI - DISCO
AQUA GYM!
urm i think thats it?!
i think ive talked enough now, love 2 see the comments!
tlk soon-god bless
xxxxxxxxxxxx

bye! (for 2 weeks!)

2005-07-25T16:09:00.000+01:00

hey, (well this is going to b a short post!)
well i think this is going to be my last post before im off to turkey! im flying tomorrow afternoon, which means i will proberly get to turkey late that night! im gonna miss all my friends loads! and to all the infinity guys: have a great time in soul survivor,i really pray god blesses you all while your there! your all gonna have such a fantastic time! enjoy the camping! lol
im not goin to see ya for three weeks so we can catch up when you lot get bac!! like what me n gill suggested, aroma or nandos! wahey!
i also just pray that i have a safe journey there and bac and a safe and enjoyable holiday!
speak in two weeks!!!
god bless
xxxxxx

disappointed along with work experience

2005-07-22T19:33:00.000+01:00

hey....
yea i know my titles a bit weird! the reason why ive got disappointed is that my holiday to mexico is cancelled due to the hurricane (emily, i think?!) i know i shouldnt be selfish, but i was soooo excited to go and to swim with the dolphins! however we are still going away, and were goin to turkey, so wish me luck! the positive thing i can think of, that were not going to mexico is that we could have been there when it happened, and me and my family may not be around to tell the story. god was protecting us, and i thank him so much for that. i now just pray that we have a safe and enjoyable holiday in turkey!!! thats all i ask! anyway we fly out tuesday and im not 100% sure if we come bac two weeks tues or wednesday!and its a much shorter flight that what it would have been if we went to mexico!
anyway i think i should move on to my work experience ive had this week. well i was placed on ward 32 which is maternity, and it was such a good experience. i throughly enjoyed it and learnt a lot. it has given me a better insight to what i want to do when i leave college, and what the job involves. the people on the ward are so nice. i was with a midwife on thursday called sarah and she was so nice and we got on so well. shes only just qualified, which must mean shes only about 21/22. i was also with a couple of health care assistants, like mandy, kellie and yvonne, they were lovely and really made me feel part of the team.
i helped with stuff like obs (b/p,temperature and pulse) post natal checks, baby checks, baby baths (the best thing ever!!!!!!) and watching the midwives. there was a couple of sad cases on the ward, and its so sad to watch, but i know gods protecting them and whatever happens, happenes for a reason.
well quite an eventful week! i also went nandos yesterday with rob, han n gill and we got some really silly pictures done! it was a laugh, i love those guys sooo much!! dont ever change guys!
well i'll try and speak before i go to turkey!!
god bless xxxxxx

such a great week!!

2005-07-16T20:32:00.000+01:00

hey guys!
well this week, i did say to myself i should really get started on my psychology coursework, but as the end of the week draws to a close, i never really looked at it to be honest!! this week has been great and ive done something nearly everyday!
monday, like i said i didnt really do anything but i went swimming with gill then went straight on to infinity.
the tuesday me han and rob spent most of the day together and we ended up playing cluedo, (which i now know how to play!) we then went home for tea, but then decided we were bored again so went up wigmore park for a couple of hours, which was great coz we had a really nice chat.
the wednesday i met miriam for lunch and a chat, then i met mum and we ended up going to hitchin open air swimming pool. then i went to my weight watchers meeting and found out that i lost another three and a half pounds which means ive lost half a stone in two weeks!!!! waahhheeyyy!!! feeling healthier! then i met han,rob,gill and dan and we chilled @ wigmore (again!!)
the thursday me rob n han planned to get up @ 10 and go swimming, but we all over slept and rob was still haf asleep at half 12!! lazy! anyway me n han walked up to robs and ended up gettin the bus with dan n gill at four thirty!!! it was good we went at the right time and we had a laugh!
friday gill vdm came round for lunch and we started off charlies leaving present. i then met rob and hannah (again!!!) and we just chilled and hung out,
today i had to work and thats really it! lol, told you i had a busy week!
speak soon
xxxxx

last proper infinity!!!

2005-07-12T10:20:00.000+01:00

well yesterday was our last proper infinity with charlie!!! boohoo! its so sad, this year has gone proper quick! the reason why its our last is because next week were all just going to chill in the park, which should be fun!
anyway bac to last night, quite a few people turned up, which was great adn a couple of new people came. one was naomi carter, steves sister. shes great, i introduced her to the infintiy lot and talked to her quite a lot, i cant wait to get to know her next year! the other one was rhian (i think thats how u spell it?!) but yea shes a friend of steves and came for the first time. she is such a lovely person and is just like a friend magnet! her steve and greg are goin 2 ireland today for a mission for two weeks so i wish all three the best of luck!im sure they will have a fantastic time!
anyway when we went into cell groups all the girls joined together and i think there was about 13 of us all together and it was really good becuase we had a nice chat and we all opened up in our own way!
i serioulst cant beleive how quick this year has gone and im sure that next year will go even quicker! ahhh, so scary.
well next week i have my work experince at the hospital then the following week im off on holiday so i cant wait!!! and this week i think im meetin up with different people each day! today i think im meeting rob and adam, tomorrow i think im meeting miriam for lunch, thursday im meetin college mate,and friday i think im meeting gill vdm. so im up for a busy week!!lol
speak soon
xxxxxxx

bomb scare

2005-07-08T11:44:00.000+01:00

i think with the recent events of the bomb scare in London, its made me feel frightened to leave so near the scare. i have been on kings cross so many times and its so scary to think what happened in the past 24 hours. I just really want to pray for the friends and family of the people that were killed and for the people that are still recovering. i think its really shook our country as a whole but i know with the country praying and supportin eachother, we should be able to get through it.
i think my grandma was scared because she rang our house yesterday to see if we were all ok. bless her. my hearts just with the victims families. R.I.P

god bless x x x

feeling healthier!

2005-07-06T20:13:00.000+01:00

this is going 2 b a short post (i hope!)
well i went to my weight watchers meeting and i have lost two and a half pounds! woohoo! im quite pleased with that and im really gonna aim to lose three pounds for next week. im only have two more weight watchers meetings before i go 2 mexico! yey! i really need a holiday!
well i only have 2 more infinity left with charlie! so sad! i really going to miss him and infintiy over the summer! but i have loads of stuff going on in the summer to keep me going!
well 2morro i have gill vdm coming over for lunch and i have no idea what 2 make! oh well i'll think of something! and friday im going holiday clothes shoppin with nicole and mum, should b fun! and bowling with some ashcroft mates! that will b gd 2 catch up!
nothin else really 2 say!
speak soon xxxxx

ignite training!

2005-07-03T21:49:00.000+01:00

hey......
so, i went to the ignite training day up at the greenhouse in stopsley and tot ell you the truth, i am soooo excited about ignite now its gonna be fantastic!
throught the day we mainly ran through what ignites about and the dos and donts (no physical contact girlies!!) i also found out that i will be helping lead a cell with lyndsey! its great because i dont really know her that well, but ignite will be a great chance to get to know her, as she seems such a lovely person. annd in my cluster group i have karen, ruthie,miriam and two other girls from other churches. im glad that i have people that i find easy to talk to in teh group and other people i can get to know. its sooo exciting as i love meeting and getting to know new people. and also ive chosen to do dance as my activity, which should be fun!lol
at the end of the training we had to pray with someone we didnt know from another church. yea it did kinda seem scary but i met a girl called amy and shes so lovely and we both prayed for eachother that we will be blessed while on ignite and to build relationships with the young people. im actually in such a hype and cannot wait!!!
anyway after the training i went to nandos (no suprises there!!) with the girlies and we had a great time just talking about anything! and my day ended with watching live 8 with mum, which was fantastic!! madonna was one of my favourites!! (well they were all brilliant!)
chat soon
god bless
x x x x x x x x x x

weight watchers! and quick prayer please

2005-06-29T20:33:00.000+01:00

ello people!
well as you guessed by the title,as from today i am on the weight watchers diet. hehe, i find it quite funny actually (ok yea i know im weird!) i met a really nice girl before i joined and she lost 2 stone!! wow!! i got weighed (im not gonna say how much i do) but put it this way ive gotta lose 16 pounds, and i do feel pretty confident! the diets all about not snacking and counting up points! mums got to lose 15 pounds, so were going to motivate eachother! my meeting every wednesday, and i really think i will lose weight if i follow it right!

the second thing i was going to write about was that i am asking anyone if they can please pray for my grandma. she has found a lump on her neck and shes not sure if its serious or not. she hasnt been to the doctor because shes scared. to be honest i dont blame her. it might be bad, or it might not. but im praying for her in general now. it annoys me because she lives in doncaster, which is quite far away, so we cant see her as much. and when mum saw her at the weekend, she said that she just has this feeling that we havent got long left with grandma which is upsetting because shes my only real grandparent left. this is the times when our family really needs to stick together.
once again this week hasnt really been the best, but thanks for the prayers
x x x x x x

backstreet boys!

2005-06-26T21:35:00.000+01:00

opps forgot to mention that i bought the backstreet boys album yesterday and i have listened to it non stop! its the best album ive bought in ages! track 1,2,3 are definatly the best!! go out and buy it people!!!!
and ive gotta a lot of stick from ppl 2night by sayin --r backstreet boys still around?!'' im sooo offended!!! nick carter is still my fave!
x x x x x

thank yous and goodbyes....

2005-06-26T21:21:00.000+01:00

well as i said in my last post this week hasnt been the best of weeks but ive had the best support ever this week. specially yesterday. i wanna thank gill for just being plain supportive, like she always is! and rob who was great yesterday. he just listened 2 how i felt and gave me great advice and was just a shoulder 2 lean on, so thanks guys!

with the good bye bit, it was karens last time @ church! i am gonna miss her sooo much, shes such an fantastic person and is always there if you need a chat! i going 2 miss u loads karen! i wish you the best of luck when you go to wales! i sure you meet loads of new friends and will grow in yoir faith with god.- love ya loads x x x

PSALM 100:5
The lord is good. His love is forever and his loyalty goes on and on.
x x x x x

mixed emotions

2005-06-23T20:27:00.000+01:00

well i havent written for a while so id thought id say wat ive been up to these past few days.
monday didnt overall turn out 2 be a great day. college was ok but i had parents evening that night. i found out that i didnt really do as well in my course work as well as i expected. i was upset but following that my parents sadi that they were disapointed in me. now i dont know bout u guys but that is one of the worst things to say! it makes me feel loads worse than i already do! so moving on i wasnt in the best of moods at infinity (im really sorry guys!!!)
cell was good because we talked about our church what we could do to improve it! some of the things we came out with was the sermons and the songs we sing to in the worship time of the service.
anyway, the thing that really did upset me was that someone said something (or rather stirring something!) to me, by which he actually has nothing 2 do with! it also has something to with my family and the thing that really did annoy me was that the person that it did have something to do with, got her b/f to tell me instead! and i think that was the first time i actaully cried at infinity, it just all got too much and i couldnt hold it in anymore.
i just also want to say thnx to gill, gill vdm, ruth,rob and terrie for just being there! your guys r amazing.
sorry for moaning!
i dont think i have anthing any else 2 say, i think?!

LAMENTATIONS 3:31-33 / The Lord will not reject his people forever. Although he brings sorrow, he also has mercy and great love. He does not like to punish people or make them sad.

just the last thing 2 say is that can you please pray for me for forgiveness. i would b much appriciated.

speak soon
x x x x x x

the HOT weekend!!!

2005-06-20T10:44:00.000+01:00

wow, has this weekend been hot or what?!! my weekend started off friday night going to nandos with gill and having a good time. we also got some pictures in the galaxy done, and one of them i look so tired! then i went round to hers after and went back home.
saturday, i unfortunalty i had 2 work and luckily debenhams have great air conditioning! but when i came out i was so ashamed of my uniform that i had 2 wear a small jacket over the top! bad idea coz by the tim e me n rob walked yp 2 semi, i was baking!
so saturday i stayed over gills house and woke up with the worst hayfever ever! i went 2 church in the morning, spent most of the after noon sunbathing in the garden, which was great!!!
then went to church in the evening and ended up going to the pub with a few guys from church. the guys were really pucking on hannah by saying she was tipsy, when i know that she wasnt! but it was a laugh and i cant wait till im 18 to go out with the guys more often(sarcastic smile!)lol
im bac at college again for the next two weeks for A2 bridgin, which is achually so boring, but psychology i kinda have 2 go because of my course work! oh well. i also have parents evening tonight and i cant wait to hear what my teachers really think of me! uh oh! lol
speak soon
x x x x x x xx

p.s IM GOING SEE BACKSTREET BOYS IN CONCERT!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!

exams are over-A2 begins!

2005-06-14T13:12:00.000+01:00

hey,
well now (according to my teachers) I am now an A2 student! and if i found this year hard, next year is going to be even harder!uh oh! on the bright side on my health and social care assingments I got an A and a B! wooo, and thats 2/3's of my final grade! lets just hope I did ok in my exam to make the final grade!
church on sunday evening was all about forgiveness, which i thought nick did a great sermon with! there was some ppl there i think that needed to hear some of the stuff that nick said!
infinity last night was gd, and it was about the bible. now with the bible i think last night made me realise that i dont read the bible as much as I should do and sometimes (dont hate me for saying this!) but i feel i have to read it?! ok now that does sound bad, but there are times when i love reading the bible, my favourite verse is
1 corinthinans 13: 4-7 (i think?!) the chapter on love, -love is patient, love is kind......
oh and im beginning to love the book of proverbs as well
well this weekend just gone i had a free house, wooooo! and on saturday night i had gill, han, rob n dan over, then sarah came round later. lol and when i was talking to rob he said he n the guys will take me out for my 18th! should i b scared?! and apparently to rob i seem like a lightweight? the strange thing is hes never seen me drink before?!
mexico soon,i cant wait!!!!!!!!(sorry changed the subject!) oh and im thinking of getting some more christian cd's, any ideas?
i like rebecca st james, but i dont think karen likes her?! i also love tim hughes's voice, so any ideas i would be grateful!
speak soon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

shaping up for summer

2005-06-04T22:15:00.000+01:00

urm.....
from the title, thats exactly wat im gonna do, physically and in my faith.
with the physical bit, i realised 2day i only have less than 8 weeks till i go to mexico and im desperate to tone up and not feel consious, when im on the beach. the next few weeks im really, really gonna try hard and go bac 2 using my fitness videos, doing sit ups everyday and hopefully having a bike ride at least once a week.im also gonna try hard to watch what im eating! im gonna do another ''lent'' with mum to cut our crisps and im gonna try to cut down chips n chocolate. so thats wen gill n co comes in. i want them to tell me off when i am eating choc n to just mention mexico, then hopefully that will put me off!!! mayb its not just for mexico, but in weeks to come, i really wanna b a healthier person and take care of my body!! (ok i sound wierd now!!!)
now for the faith thing! in the evening services we are doing sermons called shaping up for summer. i really wanna build up my relationship with god better and get more involved with the church. i feel that sometimes i do give into temptation easily and i do drift away a bit. what helps is that at st marys, there is sooo much support from everyone and im so thankful to god that he showed me n mum to come st marys. all of my good friends go there and i know that if i need a chat or someone to listen to me go on, someones always there. for example ive been out a lot with rob n gill n that this week, so tonight i went out with christine n malrieke. it was great and i got to know malrieke a bit better. (dont worry i wont say wat u told me!! its so cute thou-only chris n malrieke will know wat im on about!!) anyway im going off track,
i think sometimes i can talk to gill n hannah bout stuff that i wouldnt tlk to karen n chris about, n the other way round. but i do think sometimes we need our own space and its great to hang around with different people to get to know one another better! (dnt worry i still love ya han n gill x x x mwah x x x)
hope i didnt bore ya!!!
---> PROVERBS 18 V24 - some friends may ruin you, but a real friend will be more loyal than a brother.

thats one of my fave bible verses!(bit random i know!)
x x x x x x x x x

decisions.........

2005-06-03T18:17:00.000+01:00

well today was the interviews for the new youth minister at st marys. it was a great day and the lunch gave us a great chance to get to know the two candidates. we already interviewed the first candidate the other week, jason and so we were left to interview the other two today. it was such a hard decision to make as all three were great people and had a great passion for the youth and a heart for luton. i wasnt there when they made the final decision, but gill told me who it was. im not going to say who it is as i dont think its fair until charlie or nick announces it in church sunday but, im pleased as i liked all three.

all i pray now that god is really with the new youth leader and he will point him in the right direction for the church. i hope we have many years with him and im sure the other tgi and infinity members will love him!

of course we'll miss charlie loads (i know i will) and i wish him the best of luck in his teaching course in september. he'll make a great teacher!

x x x x x x x x x

great opportunites...great times

2005-05-31T22:15:00.000+01:00

hey.......
well this week has been quite eventful. i went to hannahs birthday thing on friday and it was great! i spent most of the day with her as we prepared the food and sorted the table. quite a few ppl came, which was great and everyone also dressed up looked great! me n hannah in our prom dresses was a hit as well! we loved the compliments! hehe...ok im being cheeky now!
the saturday i had off work and spent like the whole day with dan,rob,hannah n gill! we walked round wardown park and played footy in the park and went into the museum, which was fun..lol... it did take sum persuasion to get dan in the actual museum!but it was fun and at the end of the night we ended up at dans and watched the film called angel (one of them cheesy disney films which always has a ''happy ending'') i was not a really big fan of this film, but i think the others liked it?!
sunday and monday i had to work and it was officially the most boring days i have had in a long long while! debenhams was dead and we had hardly any customers!!! i was sooooooo bored! it was not funny! i missed the carnival for work! boo hoo!lol. but dan rob n gill came round mine after work and we had a bbq. they seemed to enjoy themselves, but the embarrassing parents that i have, brung up some stories of when i was younger. dan n rob seemed to find it funny. then after that greg met us n we went up wigmore park. it was really good achually and we hung out and watched the planes take off! n then sarah n han met us. we chilled n had a laugh. thnx guys x x x
2day i had 2 have my jabs for mexico! to be honest it did hurt a bit more than the mmr n it ached sooooo much all day!feel sorry for me! also me n gill went to aroma with gordan n dan, gordan had like 4 servings!! he must have been hungry
another thing im also doin something thats a great opportunity for a week in the summer!! i cannot wait! this summer i wont forget in a hurry!!!
x x x x x

woooooooooo!!

2005-05-27T10:34:00.000+01:00

well as u guessed by the title, i hav done my psychology n english exam!!! there finally over!!! it feels like a massive wieght has been lifted of my shoulders!!! woo, im not sure how i did, but ive done it now, so i just hav 2 wait for the results. normally i would b quite nervous but i'll leave it in gods hands, he has a plab for me! even if it is 2 fail my psychology (please not a repeat of my january exams...dont go there!!!) if u didnt know i did terrible in my jan exams and i had to retake them this week, as well as doing the paper the rest of the year is doin! arr well
im goin round hannahs tonight. for a birthday dinner thing, which should b good, the boys in a shirt and tie, should b very funny!!
had my mmr jab on wed, n to those who havent had it done, it does not hurt. coz i do get quite scared when it comes to needles but its done, the other thing is ive gotta hav my hepititus b and a (i think) next week for my holiday 2 mexico, ah it will all b worth it when im soaking up the sun on the beach and swimming with the dolphins!!! wooooo!!! lol, sorry if i sound 2 happy, im just glad this weeks over!! its gone v slow!
speak soon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

thank you......

2005-05-23T13:22:00.000+01:00

hey just a quick post. i just wanna so a big thank you to a few people who have been fantastic over the past few months:

rob-thank you so much for our chat yesterday, i know i can come to you with my problems and your such a great friend,dont let anyone else tell you otherwise!!

christine-thanks again chris,i love our little chats and im so glad we can relate to eachother, specially over the past few months with our chats bout u know who! thanks! i really appricaite it xxxx

gill-my hunnie, i love her to bits and i dont know what id without her, shes such a lovely person and easy to talk to and im always gonna be there for her! i cant wait for the summer aswell, its gonna be great!!

hannah-aw, han thanks so much for just bein there, you such a sweetheart and a great friend! sorry i didnt really chat 2 ya much yesterday, i'll try and talk to ya 2night, love ya xxx

karen-thank you so much for just bein a friend, your such a lovely person and im really gonna miss ya (if u go to wales) i know god has a plan for u and he'll point u in the right direction!

everyone who i have grown closer to church and infinity, i love u guys loads and dont ever change!!!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

my week......

2005-05-22T15:21:00.000+01:00

well i havent really written for a while,so i thought i should. well i have officailly broken up for study leave now and im off for three weeks. my two important exams will be over in the first week so i get to relax for the other two, which is great!
urm...i hav also had a few offers for something,but im not sure if im allowed to say yet, but i do really wanna go,lets just hope my boss will give me that week off in the summer!
im sooo loooking forward to the summer, i cant achaully wait! especially for mexico, its goin 2 b wicked!! i think all of us need a holiday! i jst wanna get out of luton for a few weeks!specially swimming with the dolphins,wooooo!!!
oh another thing, we had our firt interview for the new youth minister for st marys and i think it did go really well. the guy that we interviewed was really nice and has such a passion for the youth of the church. i think we had two more interviews to go, then we will have to make a decision. i will definatly be praying, and i hope others will too. that the right minister will be chosen.
i just also wanna say well done 2 steve who got accepted into kurios, he did so well and wish him the best for the next year or so.
i was talking to my friend from work and he said that the second year of college is one of the best of your life. im really hoping its true, coz this year has been hard work, and ive had my fair share of troubles. i just have absolutley no idea with what im gonna do in about a years time, but i do know that god will point me in the right direction. wether it is goin to uni or taking a gap year. god has a plan for me, and will show me where to go.
i think thats all i can say for now!- oh also happy birthday hannah, coz it was your bday fri, hope u had a great day (sweet 16!!) and you had a fantastic prom!
im gonna love ya, n leave ya!
x x x x x x x x x x

voluntary wrk!

2005-05-13T18:36:00.000+01:00

well i dont think ive mentioned it before but i went for an interview a couple of days ago about voluntary work at the hospital. well anyway i went and they said we all have a high chnace of gettin on the course! and the best thing about it is that i also have a high chance of workin on the maternity ward! which is fantastic! im reall really looking forward to it!
another thing i went to steves school yesterday for his christian union and it was great! i never realised before how mh steve has achually done for his school. its so inspiring! im really glad he invited us, as fiona,simon,louise,liz and gill van de mere also went. it was good that we supported him as a church!
also whats everyones top 5 favourite songs right at this minute (doesnt hav 2 b in any order!!)
mine is......
1-sugababes-too lost in you
2-maroon 5-this love
3-mario-let me love u
4-stereophonics-dakoda(i think thats wat its called?!-thnx liz!)
5-scissor sisters-filthy/gorgeous
have fun!!
xxxxxxxxxxx

brothers,who'd have them!!

2005-05-10T19:10:00.000+01:00

well by the title, my brother isnt exactly the on my favourite list at the mo! i seriously think that as he gets older, he gettin more immature!for example bout twenty minutes ago he achaully LOCKED me in the garage, he thought it was hilarious!well, whoevers readin this ur properly laughin!dont blame ya!just try n put yourselves in my shoes,my garage aint the nicest place in the world!and when i was tryin 2 do my assignment (due in thurs!) he was throwin stuff at me!!(ok that sounds funny!) baring in mind hes 15!!! suprise i know!
we that feels better!ive had my moan now!hehe, movin on, well wat exciting things hav been happenin?! urm......went to dans on saturday, wit gill, hannah and rob and we watched.......(wait for it!)........GREASE! (summer lovin, happened so fast,summer lovin had me a blast!!hehe) aww that film never gets old. rob was annoyed he had 2 watch it, he hates musicals! but at the end we all did the dance to your the one that i want (with dan n rob on one side n me,han and gill on the other side!)ive gotta say dan makes a great danny!!hehe
sunday was a confirmation and baptism service, n emma got confirmed! im sooooo proud of her! unfortunatley i couldnt sit the whole service with her,coz i had to do the creche, but i did have a sneak peak! i think we had about 12 babies to look after! and at one point they all wanted their mums at the same time!yep u know what follows!
infinity was good yesterday. we had an election evening! as some people know charlies leavin in the summer and there holding interviews for the new youth leader in a couple of weeks. i really felt called to put my name down, so i did. it ended up with,me,fiona,steve,gill and simon at the front with why they wanted to b on the interview panel. everyone did a little speech and then everyone (includin leaders) voted for two people. the outcome was that me n steve wud b on the interview panel. i was really pleased, but i know the other guys wanted it as well. i wish they could of put all 6 of us on,and everyone did a great speech. i just pray now that god will give me the right words and questions to ask the candidates and that we will end up with the right youth leader for the church and infinity n tgi's.
x x x x x x x x

my week so far....

2005-05-06T21:49:00.000+01:00

well thought id write for wat ive been up to this week.
tues was at college, n it went soo quick. i only have lie 3 weeks left of college now, then i have study leave, then i just have the a2 bridging courses,plz dont ask me wat its about! i have no idea. if anyone does let me know!
wednesday i was only in college for an hour and a half coz i only had one lesson, psychology!we r only just learning a new topic for the exam (stress!!!!)we have 6 lessons to learn it in, n the exma board rekons we need about 13 lessons!! so our teacher turned round n said that were all guarenteed to fail stress and we need to get an A in abnormality to achually pass the paper!! yea i hav so much confidence in myself!(NOT!)i think the exam panic is really starting to kick in now!
anyway back to wed, i ended up goin bowling with gill,fiona,dan and rob. i lost again, im beginning to think im not very good at bowling!lol
thurs jst did revision n borin stuff! i had a nice chat with my college friend nicole, shes so sweet, shes going to help my revise for my health and social care exam! thnx nicole!! xxx
friday went so quick and i ended up going round gills for a couple of hours, her brothers r so funny!
i also chatted 2 my other mate in college, n she was tellin me all this stuff bout a certain boy, n shes in the same boat as i was with steve, she has no clue wats goin on, n if he likes her in that way or not!!!she txtd him, but i told her it dont work like that! she has 2 tlk 2 him face to face. i had that problem! for months i liked him but i didnt say anythin,im glad i did now, coz were just good friends and its so much better that way! i love him 2 bits! any girl's lucky 2 have him!
speak soon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

picnics!!!

2005-05-02T20:40:00.000+01:00

well today was the bank holiday and some of the infinity lot wanted a picnic! it was soo funny!there was me, hannah,gill,rob,dan,adam,greg,liam and sarah. we spent about four and a laf hours on the massive field oppisite wardown park. then we all decided to play footy (even thou it was sooo hot!) it was me,adam,hannah and rob on one team and gill,dan,liam,greg and sarah on the other team. we lost obviously!! coz i was on the team. i made a few good passes thou! even thou greg and adam kept puttin me off!! we were sooo baking after!
it was such a good day even thou now i look like a red indian!!!
thnx guys for a great day! we have to do it again sumtime
x x x x x x

weird

2005-04-29T21:32:00.000+01:00

well this is weird. one minute im fine, now all i feel like doing is cryin. i feel i cant even talk to my friends on msn n i dont really know why. i think the exams r really gettin to me,i really cant mess up on these ones,otherwise i cant carry on to do A levels next year. theres so much 2 learn in a few weeks. n i dont really, want to go to work tomorrow, id much rather go out with friends. but i really need the money!! i hav no idea what to do 2 get over it. aahhhh
the sooner i get these exams out the way, the sooner i can relax. i have a 8 week summer holiday,so i'll just look forward to that
x x x x x x

my summers sorted!

2005-04-28T20:21:00.000+01:00

well as u guessed by my title,i think i have most of my summer sorted. im goin away for 2 weeks with my family, and i got a letter through the post sayin that ive got an interview for a voluntary worker at the hospital. its only for a week but i think it would b a great experience. i really hope i get it, i really want to make a difference. please pray!!
arrr some of the words my brother is comin out with......u cant understand him half the time! he ended up comin to infinity but didnt enjoy it as much as i would of liked. the guys @ infinity were great thou, they made him feel really welcome. like rob playin table tennis with him n greg playin table football. i think nick wanted 2 b in their cell, but obviously he cant cz there all older than him. im just thankful that i have great friends at infinity that made nick feel part of the group. im gonna carry on prayin for him, god knows what right for him.
ive become sooo tired recently. i dunno y, work n college is draggin me down! i myt not come to the mornin service on sunday, im very tempted to have a lie in, cz i have to work 9-6 saturday (fun!!??!!)oh well i have monday off n i am havin a very long lie in!!! no one will wake me!!!

speak soon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

nandos never gets old!

2005-04-28T12:42:00.000+01:00

hey........
well i went to nandos AGAIN last night,with a few people - me, gill,fiona,dan,rob and adam. i have been to nandos sooo many times now ive forgetten! anyway it was the first time the boys had ever been to nandos and couldnt believe how cheap it was!(lol thats y me n gill go there all the time!) me,fi,gill n rob just decided we wanted the chicken burger (coz it was prob the cheapest thing on the menu) but dan, lol, he ordered like the biggest plate of chicken n chips ive seen, not forgettin the rice n salad! not suprisingly he didnt finish it all! anyways we had a laugh, and i think we got to know eachother just that little bit better (lol soppy i know!) going to nandos reminded me of the other memories ive had there........

when i went with gill n hannah n them stupid boys were callin us 2 go outside! n i was the one who had 2 face them in the window!!
when me gill n hannah went before the 24hr famine, that was funny, i wasnt even hungary, i regretted not eating as much a few hours later!
one friday wen it was just me n gill, n we talked about everthin,lol
when me n gill went wit karen n christine, that was so fun! me n karen had a nice chat that night!
me emma n gill went on boxing day, n gill ended up stoppin over that night,the wied thing was i left my pudding to go to the toilet n wen i came bac it was gone....how strange!!
me,sarah,hannah,gill n louise on our little girls night out! how cute, i have the pics to prove it!

thats all i can think of at the mo, but i'll keep ya posted if i can think of anymore,or gill can let u know!!

x x x x x x x x

my prayers have been answered (sort of!)

2005-04-21T13:29:00.000+01:00

well as you guessed by my title, something good has happened and i really want to share it.
fiona txtd me yesterday afternoon asking if a group of us wanted to go bowling, well obvioulsy i was gonna say yes, has nothin else planned. it was supposed to be me, gill, fiona,hannah, sarah,louize,dan,rob, dan and adam. about hlaf an hour before i was gonna go, nick (my brother) wanted to come (mainly coz he aint played bowling for ages) at first i thought urm.. do i really want my annoyin 15yr old brother to come out with my friends! but the nice sister i am (lol) i let him come.
at first it was a bit wierd coz nick didnt really know anyone, but after an hour or so he really looked part of the group. everyone was making him so welcome and i just wanna thank everyone for that. he spent most of the night winding adam up (which was funny!) and i think he talked to everyone at least once. he even was talking to rob bout the old testament, which was great!he didnt look that bored anyway!
the one thing that is really cute is that everyone really wants him to come infinity on monday and hes saying he will if adam does! them two last night were a right pair!they got on really well which was a blessing. he even got talking to dan holmes in mcdonalds, by nicking his chips!

anyway the point of this post is that i have been prayin for him for so long that he would mayb come infinity, or at least meet some of my friends from st marys, it was just such a anwer to prayer he did! i'll let u know he he comes infinity!!

x x x x x x

WEEKEND AWAY!!!

2005-04-19T13:20:00.000+01:00

Well as far as a can remember this weekend has been one of the best weekends Ive had, in a long, long time! From friday night to sunday afternoon, we had the chance to go deeper with god and get deeper in our friendships with other people.
Well i def did both of them. i felt so much closer to god after coming home, and feel i have definatly built a better relationship with him. i also built closer friendships with other people as well. i think about 20 young people came in the end which is fantastic! we all had the chance of getting to know eachother a lot better.
i know its gonna be long but heres a bit of an outline of what we did!
we got to the church bout seven ish and me, gill, hannah n sarah lipman all went in gordans car, and lol he is such a funny driver. he cut steve up so many times it was so funny watchin him overytake him on the motorway!!not a good influence on a learner driver!! anyway we get there at bout half 8 and we had a good hr of worship and went into cell groups. (sorry by the way we focused on the book of daniel, which was good, coz i havent really looked at it properly!) then we had freetime till we had 2 go 2 bed at around one. that night took me ages to get to sleep!! i think i was the last to fall asleep!
saturday, nearly all the girls woke up at seven and were nearly all dressed by eight! we were mad! we got into so much trouble that mornin, we managed to wake a few ppl up including charlie! lol, then we had worship in the morning. and in my opinion was the one that me made me feel lost emotional. julia prayed for me for ages and the stuff she told me was so true and overwelming! i also managed to forgive that girl i mentioned earlier and it just felt a whole weight was lifted off my shoulders. i wont go into to much detail in the after noon, but we went bowling and it was so funny. adam somehow managed to get hold of my camera and was taking pictures all over the place (i think at the end of the weekend, i got about 180 pictures!!) anyway i lost in my team in the bowling, and gill somehow won!! not fair! wen we got back we had more freetime and me, adam, emma and gill went for a little walk, which was kool. i think we got to know eachother a bit better there! (everyone else was playin footy, we were soooo lazy!)then we had tea and had some more worship, which was great!
after that steve and greg made an activity, steves was a game called chubbie bunnie (i think thats how u spell it!) basically u had to put as much marsh mellows in your mouth as you can. dan won by getting 14!! i have the pics to prove it! then gregs game was pictionary, boys against girls. the boys won by ONE point, due to my crap drawing! it was supposed to be shrek, didnt look like him at all!! lol, sorry girlies!
anyway didnt really do much after that, kust took sum more silly pics, and went to bed!
sunday i got up a bit later, and had more worship in the mornin and free time and not forgettin sunday lunch! i ended up doing the washing up with sam, greg n louise, the boys were so mean i got soaked at the end!
anyway in my opinion the best bits was better friendships, the games sat night and going deeper with god, lol n not forgettin the chillin out!
i have to show u the pics, but ive gota figure how to put it on the comp first!!
speak soon, wen i remeber more stuff!!
x x x x x

hurt :(

2005-04-10T16:17:00.000+01:00

hey.......
well to be honest im feeling hurt right at this moment coz i found out that one of my oldest friends doesnt like me,i heard it through her little sister, as she always copies wat she says . i think this is a real testing time for forgiveness. my parents r meant to be good friends and apparently my mums jeleous of her mum. can i jst say y wud she jeleous coz mum has achieved so much in the past few years. wats worse mums really upset, as well as me.
ive known her all my life than she just says that behind my back. it really hurts but i know i have better friends than her, i just hope they dont turn like her.

x x x

i passed! wooooo!!!!

2005-04-07T20:21:00.000+01:00

hey just a quick note that i passed my theory car test! yey i cant believe it.for sum silly reason i thought i was gonna fail!!
its so sweet coz it was a two today(thats wen my test was!) both my parents said a prayer. which is good coz my dad dont really go to church. it was so sweet thou, that they thought of me. apparentely i shouted down the phone to dad ''i passed''. and his work mates could hear me. no suprise there then!
and the four of us including my brother went out for dinner, as a treat. that was the first time we went out to dinner the four of us since like august!
now all i got to do is pass my pratical!(coz i have a car!!)hehe

speak soon x x x x x xx

very very sleepy!!!

2005-04-04T21:52:00.000+01:00

hey.......
well, i had a sleepover with gill and hannah last night and to tell you the truth i am sooooo tired!!! we didnt get 2 sleep around 5ish, well hannah drifted off first and then me, gill said she didnt sleep till 6. and we got woken up by my ''lovely'' mum at half 11! not fair.
we had a great time thou. the three of us were chattin bout all sorts in my conservatory and my younger brother decided to join us! and we all had an interesting convo. and it was great that nick opened up so much. put it this way he told us stuff i never knew. its great that he can trust me more. i thin he slowly becoming more mature. even thou hes only 15! we also had an interesting convo bout my faith and i sont think he hates it as much as he says. lol
awww hannah n gill thnx so much for a laugh, we had a great time and i think we all opened up more includin me!!the pics r fantastic but sum of them i wont show, dont worry!!
and i also wanna say a few people r leavin this year, like charlie and karen. i gonna miss them loads. karen we have to go out again like nandos or sumthin. we can hav a girly chat like last time!
well im off 2 bed

x x x x x x x x x